On Sunday, "Game of Thrones" premiered its sixth season on HBO. While this week's episode was pretty good overall, it wasn't good enough to stop this viewer from brutally criticizing the scenes that didn't quite hit the mark. For those of you who missed it, here's a quick recap of Episode 1's lowest points.
As with any "GoT"-related content, full spoiler alert is in effect.
Brienne’s plot armor strikes again, now with GPS capability.
As a side note, I really liked the way the show subtly revealed that Theon and Sansa are immune to hypothermia. I worry that it might have gone over some viewers' heads, as this fact has never been alluded to anywhere else in the show, but overall this was a pretty cool scene.
The Sand Snakes avenge Oberyn’s death by killing his only remaining family.
The Dorne plot line hasn't made sense since the beginning of Season 5, and if last night's premiere is any indication, it isn't going to start making sense any time soon.
To sum things up from Season 5: Ellaria Sand is angry at the Lannisters because her lover volunteered to fight in a trial-by-combat and lost. In order to avenge him, she kidnaps Jaime Lannister. Then she allows Jaime Lanister to return to his family, but poisons Jaime's innocent daughter instead. This course of action ensures that the Lannisters will have plenty of time to prepare for the impending war with the Martells.
Remember when the senseless murder of allies was a big deal? I bet this guy does.
Last night, Ellaria continued to prove her sharp political wisdom by murdering Doran and Trystane, Oberyn's Brother and Newphew, thus violently dividing the land of Dorne just before an imminent war with a more powerful house.
Khal Moro sentences Daenerys to a lifetime of slow plot progression.
In one of the most despicable acts "Game of Thrones" has shown to date, Khal Moro has cruelly and selfishly declared that Daenerys will spend the next several episodes not making any progress toward Westeros.
In other news, Jorah and Daario earned Best Filler Scene for their blatant foreshadowing and frank discussion of the friend zone.
Melisandre provides a visual metaphor for the series' tragic decline in quality.
I'd rather not explain this one, but it was definitely an interesting scene.
