Dear future roommate,
Hi, we've met before! I'm sure you have gathered that much like that opening line, I'm pretty awkward. We've covered the basics: what times we like to shower, relationship status, how we will communicate when there's an issue, etc. I can't imagine any conversation we could ever have could fully prepare you for life with me. I, like most people, have a bunch of little quirks that I think you should be aware. To keep the emphasis of how awkward I am, I made a list of all those quirks:
1. Sometimes I make animal noise when I wake up
2. I always make animal noises when I'm stressed out
3. I watch a lot of cartoons
4. I drop literally everything
5. No seriously, I will wake you up at least once a week, sorry.
6. My sleeping schedule is whacked.
7. Sometimes I will sleep all day
8. Sometimes I'll forget to eat all day and you'll have to witness me pig out.
9. I drink pretty close to the lethal amount of caffeine several days a week; trust me I've googled it.
10. I love sushi and our fridge will reflect that
11. My car might explode at any given time
12. I'm really awesome at locking my keys in the room
13. There's a possibility I won't say anything to you all day
14. Most days you'll be begging me to shut up
15. I'm a pro sleeper; you're going to walk into the room with all the lights on and find me dead asleep
16. I often leave the room in a panic because I forgot to do something
17. I have no filter
18. I'm obsessed with my Brita
19. I will overly decorate my walls
20. I'm really bad at picking outfits, please help me
21. I can get really messy, please just yell at me.
22. You may find several bowls of ramen around the room one night, that's a sign that my best friend is in town.
23. I will mention I have something because you can use it, I'm not bragging
24. I really love sitting on the floor
25 I like sleeping on the floor too
26.My friends are just as weird as I am
27. My hair sheds literally everywhere
28. I have to set multiple alarms for every day I need to be up because I play "new phone who dis" with the first three alarms
29. My coffee maker is really loud
30. I'm really loud
31. My morning breath is an uglier problem than crocs
32. I have been known to be a frequent crier from time to time
33. I've been called cold-hearted more than once.
34. Sometimes I make a bunch of impulsive decisions, say oopsie, and come home at midnight ready to gossip for 3 hours.
35. There are so many names of people I will mention who will be irrelevant in less than a month
36. I remember little details/ weird things. You might be surprised when I know your aunt's name, favorite chocolate, and the boy that broke your heart's name and every shitty thing he's done. Mention it once and I'll remember it!
37. I'm oddly great with names and faces... Of people, I don't really know.
38. I am the ring leader of a one man shit show
39. I will be there for you regardless of the time or situation
Future roomie here's to you! You are going to be a pro at dealing with random nonsense by the time we survive our first semester together. All of my flaws aside, I'm super excited to live with you!
