First off, thank you so much for loving someone as incredibly difficult as I am. I know our journey, thus far, has not been the smoothest and most enjoyable, but God put you in my life for a reason – to be my forever. You are no doubt an incredible man, and I know that already because I was uncannily picky when choosing who I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I hope to make this transition into our future as gently as possible and that our years together are filled with love, laughter, and most importantly, each other.
In doing so, you most importantly have to guard my heart and treat me for who I am – a child of the One True King. Hopefully these tips can provide you with the tools to do so:
1. Respect me no matter the circumstances.
There are bound to be times we share that are going to be more trying than anything we have ever experienced. There will be tears shed and words said that we never imagined would be, but it is inevitable because we are both sinners and are programmed to hurt one another. I want to remind you that despite the trials that come, that I still deserve your utmost respect, as well you do mine. Remember that we both serve a forgiving God, and in our responsibility to be in His image, we are to show mercy to each other despite our faults. I know for a fact that everything I do is not going to please you, but the true test of our marriage will come when we set aside our differences and turn towards the only One who can mend our hearts.
2. Always tell me I am beautiful.
One day, when the "forever" hits, I am going to have wrinkles in places I didn't think possible, lipstick on my teeth, and a cough that is probably going to sound like a small fleet of soldiers are in my throat, but please continue to tell me that I am beautiful. No, this is not a way to fish for compliments or force you to say something you don't want to, but every time I hear that I want to be reminded of the first time you told me. I want to be back to when we were too young to be in love and had the whole world in front of us. I do not wish to be told I am beautiful because you feel obligated to, but because you and I want to be reminded of the history that brought us to where we are now.
3. Take our family to church.
Even if I am bedridden with a horrible disease, I ask for you to take our children to our church. I grew up around a congregation of people who loved the Lord and made sure I was aware of it, and because of them, I have the same love for Him today. Our children deserve the same opportunity and chance to be shown the same compassion I know we both were spared growing up. God is going to be essential whether we are on a mountaintop or in a valley, and I want our children to know and trust in Him no matter what.
4. Be a leader for our household.
"Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." -Colossians 3:18
In the Word, I am told to submit to you as my husband and display my utmost support in whatever decisions you make. It also states that a man is to be the leader of the household, leading in not only in a just way but in the way of the Lord. You are to guide me and our future family in whatever is necessary to keep God in the center of our lives. If you see our children being ill-minded or me being ill-minded, I want you to take it as your duty to correct us and show us an alternative approach. I put all of my faith that you are going to not only create a peaceful environment but a godly way of life.
5. Love me through all of life's struggles.
I know that you love me. I know with all of my heart that you have nothing but love for everything I am. I know this because you asked me to spend the rest of your life with you, and I plan on doing exactly that. There are going to be situations that seem impossible to overcome, and you are going to want to give up and start over. I am pleading that you look into my eyes and remember everything that we are to each other. You are my world, security, home, and so much more than I could ever put into words, and when the going gets tough, bear in mind that you most of all have my heart. Something that will never be taken away.
