1. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

2. Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind...it's tearable!

3. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!

4. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it!

5. I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!

6. What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-na!

7. What did the horse say after it tripped? "Help, I've fallen and I can't giddy up!"

8. Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

9. Don't trust atoms, they make up everything!

10. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles!

11. Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself? It was two tired.