How To Handle A Bad Break Up
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To All The F*Ckboys I've Loved Before, I hope You're Miserable

Actually, I know you're miserable without me.

To All The F*Ckboys I've Loved Before, I hope You're Miserable

Hey assholes,

For some of you, it has been awhile. For others, it hasn't. Either way, we both know that me loving any of you was such a terrible mistake. The way that we (probably) left things was pathetic, at best, making me look like a fool and you a coward.

So, let's make it right.

I'm sorry that I wasn't enough of a woman for you, giving in to what you asked for no matter how much it went against my moral principles. I'm sorry that I stooped down to your level pre, and post, ending. We both know that's not the girl I am, right?

But you didn't like me for me. You liked me for who I pretended to be: a girl just like you.

I'm sorry that I didn't speak up sooner about how, yeah, it bugged me that you had absolutely no hope for a future. You were content with that though, so I was, too. (Because who doesn't dream of a life where you come home from your job while your man is unemployed and sleeps on the couch all day, right?)

Never change, guys. Never change. The right girl, who probably also has no future, will love you for who you truly are.

I'm sorry that I tried to get you to do better, to be better, to do more. That must have been really difficult for you. I should have known better. Silly me!

I'm sorry that I was dumb enough, and loved you enough, to allow you to take advantage of me the way you did. Great for you, absolutely dreadful for me. But hey, you got everything you asked for, boys: my money, my time, me, what more could you heartless, gutless assholes want?

Now that I'm strong enough to write about you, I hope that you're miserable without me. I hope that, without the girl who kept your head on kind of straight, your life is a disaster.

I'm sorry that you let a good girl go. Man, you must be pretty dumb, huh?

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