There was a time when I was a little girl and the word cancer didn't mean anything to me. It was just that - a word, thrown around by adults to describe something I wasn't able to understand.
When I was finally able to comprehend cancer, it still didn't really affect me. Yes, I knew people were dying because of it. But I didn't knew anybody who was affected by it in my inner circle, and because of that I didn't pay a lot of attention to it.
It wasn't until my grandmother got diagnosed with cancer, that I understood the full meaning of it. Until I understood how this terrible disease affects not only the person, but everybody around this person.
We have solutions for so many problems. People come up with new crazy inventions every single day. And yet, we simply can't find a cure for cancer. It is scary.
It is even scarier to see what cancer does to somebody. Just thinking back about my grandmother fills my heart with sadness.
She was one of the strongest individuals I knew. She didn't take sh*t from anybody. She always had the last word, if things didn't go her way, she made sure to let you know that she wasn't okay with it. It was her world, we were just living in it. I loved her. Gosh, I loved her so much.
Cancer didn't care about how much I loved her. It didn't care about the fact, that she never smoked and barely ever had a drink. It didn't care that she was one of the healthiest eaters I knew. It didn't care that my grandmother was the sweetest and most genuine person ever. Cancer doesn't care about stuff like that.
Cancer, I despise you.
You were able to beat down my granny. The strongest person I knew. Just like that. You won the battle to end her life, but you never beat got her spirit.
You didn't stop there. Friends and team mates were diagnosed with it. You didn't care about age, you didn't care about how healthy they were before they met you.
It is only a matter of time until somebody will find a cure against you. Until all of this sadness you bring to people's life will end.
Cancer, I hate you.
You took some of my favorite people and the worst is, that I couldn't do anything about it.
All I can do is watch, watch how they get weaker and weaker and hold their hand and tell them that everything is going to be okay, even though we both know - it never will be okay again.
