Let's just state the obvious. You hurt me. And not the kind of hurt that is just over-reacting, crying-out-for-attention, won't-matter-in-two-years type of hurt. But, the kind of hurt that has completely changed my life, has completely changed my perspective, and that has left scars on my heart.

I wish I could just be talking about one person here, but I'm not. There has been a few people who have absolutely meant everything to me, but one day I woke up and meant nothing to them. Something changed, and our relationship dropped from priceless to worthless overnight.

I've laid in bed for days, asking myself where I went wrong. Scrolled through months worth of text messages, re-reading them seeing where I made the mistake. I've left puddles on my pillow as I tried to understand. I've spent hours each week standing in the shower, hoping the sound of the shower running will cover up the sounds of my sobs. I took the blame, I didn't know what I did, and you wouldn't tell me, but I lost. And it hurt so bad.

It hurts so bad.

More recently, I've tried to be something to somebody who refuses to give me the time of day. I realized there was a lack of respect because I didn't try, and I apologized. I swallowed my pride, admitted my mistake, and I asked to start over. But my message was not received, the conversation about my message wasn't between you and I, it was between you and somebody else. I asked for respect, and was blatantly denied. I tried, and received nothing in return. And I'll take the hit to my dignity, and admit that you have totally broken my heart. I shouldn't care so much, but I do.

I keep typing "It's probably my fault" and deleting it as I write this, because I can't keep taking the blame. Because it isn't just my fault. Did you hear that? It isn't just my fault. I have taken the blame, and I'm at the point where I can't keep saying I'm sorry and picking up your broken pieces when you don't care about my broken pieces. If I care all about you, who's going to care for me?

I'd like to think that you do care, and that I'm crazy and over-reacting. But If you cared, this wouldn't be happening. That we'd be friends, I'd be happy. But honestly, If you woke up tomorrow and suddenly tried to give me the world, I don't think I could take it. Because the amount of heartbreak you have caused on me isn't something that can just go away.

The reality of the situation is that I need to let go. It's hard to admit that, I'm crying just typing the words, but I can't keep crying over somebody who doesn't care that I'm crying. I can take the blame a million times, I can apologize a billion times, I can cry until I either throw up or can't cry anymore, but I've realized that I can't make you care.

So, let's just state the obvious. You hurt me.

But, it's about time I move on.