From the Girl with the Broken Smile,
As someone who struggles with anxiety problems and depression, I can say that I have been through a lot of different situations that have not left me in the best shape. It can be the best day ever and I can be super happy, and then out of nowhere, the dark cloud floats over top of me and I am left feeling depressed for no reason at all. All of the bad thoughts come in, and I just want to stop everything. I have no motivation to do anything, but I know I need to do something. The thoughts and feelings scare me because I know that they are not healthy thoughts. I have an internal battle with myself because I know I should not be thinking these, but at the same time, it sounds like a blessing.
Bad things happen to each and every one of us. It is a well-known fact. We all have our good days and bad days. Sometimes it all becomes too much. The things happening around us start to suffocate us and so many bad thoughts and feelings pour into our minds and no matter what, they will not go away. You have so many feelings, yet none at all. The pain and confusion in your mind is so much that it feels like the world is ending and you have no idea what to do about it. You try and try, but it seems like nothing can get better. Also, nothing can get worse.
You are forced to fake a smile and move on. You are fine. It is not like anyone cares anyway. Just hide from the world and pretend that nothing is happening to you. All of a sudden, you just feel so alone. You see everyone around you laughing and hanging out with their friends, and you feel like the outcast. Like no one really wants you. Suddenly, you start to find comfort in loneliness. Taking long drives on back roads becomes like your own personal getaway from the world. Then you start to think, ‘I can just drive away. Drive away from here and leave everything behind. Start new somewhere else.’ And the pain just lingers on.
Next, all of the bad thoughts start coming in. You have urges to do things that you have never wanted to do before. Just to do something that will take the pain away. Clear the mind. Some of these things are harmful to yourself, some even permanent. And they are all so easy to do. So easy to shut everything out.
Then, millions of past events flood your mind. Every mistake that you have ever made, all of the regrets, everything. They are all your fault. Everything that has ever happened to you was your fault. The reason why that person approached you and said hi, it was your fault that you said hi back. If this never happened, this would not have either. Everyone tells you that you are overreacting and everything will be fine. Move on. Except you know that they are lying to try to make you feel better.
From the Girl With the Broken Smile, keep your head up. Stay positive. Even when you feel like everything is falling apart, it is not. You will get through it. You are a warrior. Just believe in yourself and everything will follow through.
From the Girl With the Broken Smile, trust me, I have been there. Put down that razor. Dump out that bottle. Sit down and breathe for a minute. Know that you are enough, and fight all of the bad thoughts. Never let them take who you are. Just keep fighting. Remember that you are beautiful inside and out. You are not hopeless, you are amazing. Please never ruin that.
From the Girl With the Broken Smile, let go of the past. It has already come and gone, and nothing can be changed about it. As over said as it is, everything happens for a reason. You may not see it now, but one day you will. Everything that happens, good or bad, shapes you into the person that you are. There is always something to learn from everything life throws at you. Through every smile, wound, tear shed, and heartbreak, just know that those moments are shaping you into the person that you are meant to be. Remember that.
From the Girl With the Broken Smile, stay strong. Everything will be okay in the end.
