I’ve never actually been in a relationship. This is something that sets me apart with every passing birthday.

If you haven’t been in a relationship or it took you many years to find someone to date, you understand the whole, “Well, since I’m 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, etc. now, I must be getting close to being in a relationship. It’ll probably happen this year!” feeling. It’s this consistent wish upon birthday candles that you’ll feel this whole love and heartbreak thing this year, and when the next year comes, it just repeats. Until you find someone to call your significant other, and you feel all the normal feelings of being in a relationship.

I’m the first one to tell someone else that being single is wonderful. I’m that girl who shouts out about how we really don’t need a man to be happy while listening to my crying friend talk about some lame boy. I’m the girl who wants to have a career and fulfill my dreams before settling down with some cool guy. I’m the one who never planned out her wedding on Pinterest because, honestly, a wedding never really mattered to me.

I’d be lying if I told you a relationship isn’t something I ever want though. It’s not because I feel weird or strange or pathetic for never being in a relationship. I just feel like I’m missing something that everyone else has. I’m missing the beauty that comes with having someone to depend on everyday to tell the struggles and perks of going through a day in my life. I’m missing the shedding of my skin as I become more and more vulnerable, and I’m missing watching them learn to cry in front of me as they become more vulnerable with me. I’m missing the shattering feeling one has when relationships begin to break. I’m missing the pain that comes with losing someone that was trusted with everything.

I’m not the kind of girl that seeks out someone to date though. I’m not even the girl who overly wants a relationship to feel all of those things, but every once in awhile a guy will slip into my life and tease me with the idea of sharing these things with him, finally. We’ll talk, I’ll be myself, he’ll tear down a few of his walls, I’ll begin to think of him being mine and it will end. It alway does, so far.

I’ve been told so many times how lucky I am to have not felt the pain of heartbreak. People tell me that my relationships will be more special because I haven’t experienced it yet. Honestly, I think that’s all a lie and I think the other people in this world who haven’t been in a relationship yet feel the same way. I feel like I’m missing out. I feel ready to experience pain and heartbreak and the blossoming butterfly feeling that comes with falling in love.

I don't feel weird or pathetic or lame, but I do feel like I'm missing out. And if your like me and you've been single forever, I think it's important to know we aren't missing out on anything.

I don't think love is something we pick out necessarily. I think love walks in the door and we have to choose to love that person, but we can't just force love on someone, necessarily. I think love comes at random times and we must either accept it or decline it, but I don't think it's a bad thing if love hasn't come yet.

Love will come eventually for all of us, but for now, we're here in these moments of singleness. Us single folks have other stories we need to share and other things we need to learn other than things that come from relationships.

You will have pain and heartbreak in other forms that are just as valuable and important. You aren't missing out.

And love will always come.