The things I do remember? Being upset and confused. Feeling alone. For some reason, I remember 11 year old me being excited to "spend the weekend at Daddy's house" with my sisters and his new family which outbalanced my feelings. But eventually, those weekends of father time died down. Suddenly, I wasn't seeing you at all.
I don't remember how I heard you left the country. It was sometime during middle school, while I was still getting comfortable with the divorce. I don't think you said an official goodbye, I think you just picked up and left. I don't remember how I felt, and I think it's because I didn't feel much of anything at all. I just recall it being eerily quiet for a couple of days. Again, I felt alone.
Until high school, I thought you were the good guy. Eventually, the word and feeling of abandonment settled. There was the initial feeling of uselessness before I performed in a musical, with the symphonic band, or on a field with the marching band, because who was watching anyway? Eventually, the feelings went away when I realized how minor you were in my later adolescence. Realizing that I only needed those immediately around me to support and motivate me was essential into growing up to be the woman I am today. I haven't seen you in years. I don't remember your voice, laugh, and the date you left our house.
The things I do remember? There are the little things, like sitting on the couches and watching our favorite television series in the house. The excitement when I watched you and my older sister play video games together on our xbox. There are also the bigger things I remember; the importance of laughter, and how sometimes it's okay to lighten the mood with a little joke. You introduced me to the life of music, which is what guided me throughout my childhood and adolescence, and made me meet the best friends that I have today.
I hope you realize what you did to my family. I hope you see that we fixed ourselves without you, and how much better off we are without you.
My sisters and I are achieving great things, whether you are watching or not. I hope all is well, but it's time to grow up, isn't it?
Sincerely,
The daughter of the family you left
