Dear Dad,

I hope you have the pleasure of reading this one day. For the longest time I thought about what I would say to you if I ever got the chance to meet you. For the longest time, I forgot about you, I told my friends you were dead to stop them from ever asking about you because what would I say? I never knew you.

I struggled for such a long time trying to understand why you didn’t want me or my mother. I guess you were not ready to grow up and be a father. I want to reassure you that my mother was not only ready to be a mother but a father as well and she, with the help of my family, raised me well.

However, I never trusted men after figuring out what you’d done and how you left. My relationships with guys had no trust on my part not matter how hard I tried. I was always afraid they would leave me like you did, so I would try to make a commitment as soon as possible to ensure they wouldn’t go. In turn, this scared them off.

It has been a few years since I thought about you. It wasn’t until college that you were brought up again to an entire new group a friends that I thought deserved the truth.

Most recently, you were brought up to my boyfriend for the first time in the nine months that we have been together and it really made me think about how you really effected my life. I never took the time to realize the hole that is in my heart from where you were supposed to be. He asked me what I would say to you if we met. I told him I would ask you why you left.

What did I do? And why wouldn’t you give me a chance?

But then I realized that I didn’t need any of that anymore. My life is amazing without you in it and, in a sense, I got the closure that I needed without you. I made a choice. A choice to live life, and not use the fact that I grew up without a father as an excuse to not love, and think all men are you.

I guess I just really want you to know that I wish you the best and let you know that your little girl is not so little anymore and she is doing really well for herself.

But i do want to say thank you, for making the choice that you made. As i have explained my life has been quite a rollarcoaster and iI did not understand why you made the choice that you did to walk out on me and my mom but I really appreciate it. I think that it is alot easier to deal with what i have dealt with without a man who wasn't read to be a father yet.

Although I will never have the pleasure of being daddy's little girl, I want you to know that I am being taken care of by a man who truly does love me, and has finally taught me the true meaning of love. He says you're welcome.

Never yours,

Jasmine