“Can you help me find (insert building name here)?”
“Sure. Are you a freshman?” (insert rude smirk here).
“No. I’m a transfer. Thanks for asking. But really, I’m late.”
I have never in my life had to say one sentence more frequently than I have to say “I’m a transfer student”. While it is kind of annoying to be constantly asked “why and how, if you’re new, do you live in upperclassman housing?”, being a transfer student is one of the greatest blessings I have ever been given.
Last year, I attended a huge school, 50,000 students strong. My professors and TAs didn’t know my name, online programs graded my papers, and I struggled to make friends in my dorm of all athletes and Greek students. It was very difficult for me to understand why, in a place of so many people, I could not really find my people.This is not to say, however, that I didn’t make a couple friends, because I did. I just felt like I did not really belong. It seemed like the only way people made friends were through parties that they went to and passed out at or people that they hooked up with, both of which weren’t really my scene. My parents continued to urge me to try new things, go new places, and meet new people, but after a semester of trying to no avail, I gave up. As I slowly sunk deeper and deeper into a pit of dark and lonely depression, I began to wonder if school was for me or not. All of these movies about college lied, this is not the best time of your life. It’s a dark and lonely hell.
As much as I wanted to drop out, I couldn’t, so I started to look into other options. Transferring seemed like a good idea, but I didn’t really want to go through all of the hassle. Over spring break, I visited a couple schools with my dad and eventually made the decision to not return to my old school in the fall. I ultimately decided to indeed go through the hassle and attend a small school in Indiana called Valparaiso University.
As the school year approached, I was incredibly nervous. I was sure that it would turn out exactly as it had before, and that I would end up just realizing that school wasn’t for me. This, however, was not the case. My roommate and I became great friends. I joined a sorority of lovely women who have started to become some of my closest friends and strongest support when I need someone. The teachers not only know my name, but seek me out when they sense that I am struggling. Everything is better here, and I haven’t had an episode of depression yet. I have finally found my place.
The fact of the matter is that transferring schools was the best decision I have ever made. It’s so easy to tell yourself to just suck it up and stick it out for four years just because you committed when you were seventeen and still living off of your parents, but I’m here to tell you that your happiness should be first. This goes for everything. If something doesn’t feel right and you don’t think it’s your place, put yourself first. Look for a new job, break up with that significant other, transfer schools, change majors. Put yourself first.
