Being a member of a fraternity or sorority is like living in a bubble. Sure, you can have friends from all walks of life, in other Greek organizations, or not in the Greek community at all. But you always have the safety net of your organization and the Greek community at large to fall back into. Because you are connected to the people of your organization in this weird, cosmic way, you know that they have to put up with you despite your antics. You feel invincible. You are free to do as you please, say what you please, and become your most outrageous, ridiculous self among other members of your organization. The question that I ask, however, is this: what happens after four years of this nonsense, and you are thrown out into the real world of suits, ties, and behavioral expectations?In order to answer this question, I have developed a survival guide to the dreaded transition from fraternity and sorority life transition into the real world:1. Unless you are in the privacy of your own home or doing grunge work, then the big sorority t-shirt thing won’t fly after graduation. Your boss won’t think the illusion of you not wearing pants is as cute as we all do.
2. No more Oh there’s chapter tonight? I’ll just go next week. In the workplace, you will actually have to show up to meetings. I repeat: meetings outside of the Greek system are NOT OPTIONAL. Unlike skipping chapter, you will actually have to report to your boss, not the chapter president, who is probably your roommate or best friend.
3. Always be prepared to pay for public transportation when going out. In the real world, there are no freshman safe rides, there are only cabbies and bus drivers, and it is unlikely that either of them will waive your fee or agree to your demands for Taco Bell because they want to be in the good graces of the social chair.
4. On that note, it is important to acknowledge that you will be using your own money to pay for things such as transportation. As sad and dreadful as it may be, there will be a day that billhighway ceases to fund your wardrobe (a.k.a. t-shirt collection). Also, note that you will actually have to make friends to be invited to parties in the real world, because your dues will not constitute an automatic invite anymore.
5. Now that you are answering to a business professional for misbehavior rather than a member of your own chapter, you must learn the social norms of an office setting. Here are some examples:-Dance Floor Make Outs, or DFMOs, though quite common at fraternity and sorority mixers, will not be as appreciated by your colleagues at your office Christmas party.-Falling asleep or cruising through Instagram in meetings will not go ignored or unnoticed.-Partaking in or encouraging flip cup, beer pong, or any other drinking game that involves standing up at an office gathering will be not be received favorably.
6. You no longer have an excuse to wear a costume—ever. The exception of this rule is, of course, Halloween, but that may even be pushing it. The day that you become an adult is the day that you dispose of your costume box. You no longer have themed parties like raves, Baywatch, school girls, or Woodstock, so burn your one-pieces and high school cheerleading uniforms, and for God’s sake, never wear neon again.
7. Fraternity men, you will no longer be able to impress women by telling them that you made the punch or giving them a great DFMO at your fraternity’s mixer. Instead, you will have to take them out. It’s important to remember that you no longer have formals to be your one night per semester that you treat a girl to dinner and dancing. Likewise, girls can’t rely on a date night or mixer to let the men come to them.
8. You can and will have to go places by yourself. This may be difficult for some to do after 4 years of having Fratmail or a pledge class GroupMe that ensures you will never ever have to eat a meal alone, walk to class alone, or even sit at the library alone. But in the real world, you can’t be afraid to do things on your own.
9. When intramural sports are over, and you no longer participate in philanthropies, it’s time to get a gym membership. You’re no longer chasing other girls to rip off their flags or playing basketball game after basketball game to win that championship trophy, so it's important to find other ways to stay active. Maybe you will knock off those last few pounds that are still lingering from your freshman fifteen.
10. Finally, once you retire the fraternity life, you must also retire Keystone, Natty light, and basically anything that comes in cans and cannot be purchased in a six-pack. By the same token, girls, you can no longer show up to a girl’s night with a box of Franzia. If DFMOs are off the table, so is slapping the bag.