Reminiscing on old high school memories, I remembered all of the "issues" I was dealing with at that sudden moment. I struggled with body image, boys, and the drama between my friends. I would go home and stress about what was going to happen next and what I needed to do in order to do the right thing.
The biggest one for me was body image. I felt like I was constantly shamed for looking how I did. Especially when I got to college, I struggled even more. In college, boys didn't really become more of an issue, just probably the same amount. I was so focused on friends and school work that I thought I'd miss out on finding "the one" and be alone forever. Dramatic, I know. The friend drama existed the most freshman year, after sophomore year, everyone dispersed and found their own friends, and I was left to about two.
As always, I felt like I was in the middle of the friend drama and felt uncomfortable to be around the fighting. I ended up eventually staying to myself with one or two other friends. Basically, I think what we all need to do at some point, is write a letter to our younger selves, letting them know that it does eventually get better, we get over the battles we were fighting as children and face new battles as adults, and surprise, surprise, we get past those too.
Dear 15 year old Morgan:
First of all, don't fret over boys. The boys in your life right now are not going to follow you past your freshman year of college. The only one that will stick by your side will be Shane, although you may hate him at times, cherish him. You'll have some pretty great adventures with him, and let's face it, he truly will show that he deserves the title of brother.
You'll hang with some of the boy friends you have from high school a few times during college. You'll keep in touch and go and visit one another a few times, but nothing too much past that. That doesn't mean that they aren't great friends, because I'm sure if I reach out to them now they'd answer, but you guys will go your separate ways.
The "friends" you claim to have, don't give them a second thought. The only one that will stick by your side through it all, which I'm sure you already realized, will be Nicole. You're going to fight with her probably a dozen more times, but you two will always come back on good terms. Currently, it's better than ever in regards to your friendship with her. She will become your rock when you definitely need it the most. Do NOT take advantage of her, because she will always be there for you.
You will meet such great people in college, you will meet three/four of your absolute best friends in college. So don't pay any mind to the drama in high school currently. The girls you meet in college will be the only people that matter to you eventually. You'll replace the guy friends, too. You will be a brand new person and you won't have any second thought about high school.
Your body image will get better, then it will get worse. You will go through a lot of ups and downs throughout college in regards to how you view yourself. You will lose weight in college, but be careful with your drinking because that will bring it all back. That's where your image will go out the window in regards to how you view yourself. You need to go through a lot of b.s. in college to really appreciate yourself, and I'm sorry to tell you but it's going to suck. You are strong, and you will make it through.
Don't worry about finding "the one" while you're in college, because that campus does not have the person you're looking for. Just make absolute sure to purchase those All Time Low Tickets and GO! That's where it'll happen. Ironically, that's what you've always dreamed of right? Meeting your "one" at a concert. It will happen, you'll end up moving in together and parenting two cute cats. While I can't tell the future in regards to marriage and children just yet. I think that one should be a surprise!
You will go through some of the lowest lows that you will ever imagine, and I can tell you right now that they won't be easy. You will struggle at points with everything and it will take a lot out of you, but one thing that you need to remember is that it does get better. Everything that seems like it sucks at one point will ultimately get better. You will meet amazing people that will change your life for the better. You will find who you are and find what you need to do in this life. I can assure you that you will be great!
One piece of advice: do not lose yourself, always stay true to who you are, and do the right thing. It will always work out for you in the end. You have people in your corner, while it might not always feel like it. You have people who love you and will be there for you always.
I'll see you in a few years.
