Recently I was having a conversation with one of my best friends that I met at school and we were talking about friendship and the friends we made at college, including each other. Our friendship came out of nowhere, we really became friends after school had already ended for the year. She told me how much she loves the friendships that are so unexpected because they turn out to be the best. Then we began discussing our other friends we met at school and some of the problems we were having with them. My friend then said how true friends come into your life and never leave your side no matter what happens, how far you live from each other, or how busy your life is. True friends always make time for their friends.

That stuck with me for a while. It made me think. Then I saw one of the recent grads from my high school tweeted and said how he was really only friends with some people at school because he saw them five days a week. That kind of thing doesn’t stop once you graduate from high school, it happens in college too. It has definitely taken some time but I have come to realize which of my friends are true friends and which are friends with me because we go to school together.

Friendship is a two-way street. It shouldn’t be a job to maintain the friendship. The relationship should be kept alive by both people, one person shouldn’t be doing all of the work. One-sided friendships suck. I’m not one to give up on someone easily, but giving so much to someone and never having anything reciprocated, not even a thank you, it’s hard. I mean how hard is it to send a “How are you?” text every once in a while? Think about it. Think about how shitty it feels to tell someone you miss them and they don’t say they miss you back. Being the only one to try to maintain the friendship sucks and is exhausting.

I’m not one to give up, and I’m not one to expect others to do something for me. When I do something nice for one of my friends, it’s because I care about them and am just a giving person. I don’t do it so they will do something in return. I love having my friends talk to me about their problems and let me help solve them. I make sure my friends know that. But when I need them, where are they?

True friendship is something to cherish. You always see those people that have been best friends for years and years, and it seems so effortless. That is something to strive for. That type of friendship just looks happy. It’s like you know when something happens, they are the first person that they can’t wait to tell about it.