To The “Best friend” I Left Behind Back Home,
It's been months since I saw you. Which is so weird to think about. We saw each other every five days for nine months every year since kindergarten. Maybe that’s even weird. That’s 190 days a year for thirteen years. Now we haven’t seen each other in two months.
Yes, we talk every day but it’s different. It’s remembering things we did over those thirteen years and sometimes you telling me updates about the swine I left at home with you when I left our little state. It’s gossip and television show memes and memories. It’s not helping one another or being there for each other or anything important anymore.
It’s a hollow shell of what was once an empiristic friendship. It was what everyone wanted. We were stuck at the hip, and when we weren't it was the talk of the school. Because; let's be honest, you not being with me was like seeing a cake without icing or a sandwich without bread.
The last time I was home, the first time I would've seen you in a month, you canceled to hang out with your boyfriend. And I can't help but think that that’s what the rest of our friendship will be. I can’t help but think everything else will be more important now that we lack school, and clubs, and geography, and friends in common. We are now separate people, no longer connected at the hip, each our own piece of a sandwich or slice of cake- icing and all. Maybe we don’t need each other now.
Eventually, I’ll come home again. And I’ll try to see you. Maybe next time I come home we’ll hang out and it’ll be okay, it won’t bore you and we’ll laugh about new concepts and bond. I guess we’ll see.
Either way, I want to say thank you. Thank you for staying at home when i left. I know you thought about venturing out and i encouraged you too, but i’m glad you didn’t. I think staying home was good for you. I think you’ll find your potential there. I think you need what you have there. But, thank you for letting me leave. I know you asked me not to leave for two years. I know that you didn’t believe i actually would leave. Who can blame you, noone thought i would, but me. I know i’ll only reach my potential alone, that’s how i work best. So, when you finally gave in to me leaving, when you finally stopped being afraid of it, i think that helped me be less afraid of it too, so thank you. But also, thank you for being afraid for me, i’ve always been one to get swept away with things, to take big leaps and think later, and you were that voice in the back of my head this past year, reminding me not to jump too far. You’re fear also reminded me that I should always have a best friend to come back to. Maybe that has changed now, but it was a nice cushion the month i spent packing.
Thank you for doing all those clubs and sports with me, for taking all those classes with me, for always taking selfies with me, for escorting me to so many dances, for all of it. It’s been a good life with you there. And because I had a friend like you, I know it’ll be a good life again.