I know that friends come and go and some stay longer than others. Even with this knowledge it still stings when I lose a friend; if we just grow apart or something comes between us it still sucks when you don't have that friend anymore. When I make friends, I mean really invest in a friendship, of course it will be hard to see the friendship go. In my life, most of the friendships that I lose are over time and because of the distance between us. A couple of times in my life I have lost a friendship because of deeply emotionally reasons that still hurt to think about some days. For example, in high school I literally had one of my best friends sit down with me and tell me that she didn't want to be my friend anymore. Yeah that really happened I got broken up with on a sunny summer afternoon as I was drinking a smoothie.

So to the people out there that have decided they want a friendship to be over here is what I want you to know. It came as a shock when all of a sudden there was a void in my life. Our constant texting, phone calls, and hang outs ceased and I didn't know why. You were one of my best friends and it felt like one second you were there and the next you were gone. It made me feel like a boat stranded in the middle of the ocean. I had lost my co-captain and had no idea where to go. At first I figured you were just busy and that when you had more time things would change, but I was wrong. Slowly I realized that you were never coming back to me and once that sunk in I was confused and oh so hurt. It made me question our entire friendship, and me a a friend. I constantly thought about what did I do wrong? I mean no-one is perfect so what had I done that was so bad that one of my best friends just decided she didn't want to be around me anymore. It took me so long to realize it was really and truly over. I didn't even know you had completely cut me off until someone asked me about something you said. They were wondering how I was doing because you told them we weren't friends anymore. Wow, that was so painful to hear. It took me so long to finally ask you what happened and once I got your answer it helped me to understand where you were coming from but it also felt like such a stab in the heart.

How could someone who I considered one of my very best friends do a thing like this? That was my question for such a long time. I know friendships come to an end but when they happen like this it is always painful.

I learned a lot about myself and how I act towards people during the times that these situations happened. It taught me that it doesn't kill you to lose a friend and that just because one friend leaves doesn't mean they all will. I learned not to try to get emotional support from only one person because that was not fair to them. I learned how much I rely on people for support and how that's not always a bad thing. I found that it takes a long time not to be upset because you felt like they made this decision for selfish reasons and without any thought to how you would feel. Thankfully, with each passing day, week, and month the pain eases. I also learned that it is so much easier (at least for me) to forgive, but not to forget. I also knew that I was so thankful for the friendship that I had with that person when they were my person and that when we were friends we were truly great friends who cared deeply about each other.

These situations made me even more thankful for the friendships and family I have. I know that I will continue to lose and gain friends, but that is just a part of life. You taught me a valuable lesson and for that I can only be thankful.