To the girl I called my best friend since middle school, f**** you, but thank you.

Have you ever known that one person who you thought was your person but in the end they stabbed you in the back and believed the ridiculous things people would say about you. Or the person who was ok with lying to your face. The person who tried to change you when all you truly needed was somebody to listen, and not judge you. The person who you thought you could trust, but in the end they were telling everybody your dirty laundry. That ONE person who you would literally do anything for, but in the end was just toxic waste in your life. That best friend were their family was your family, and your family was her family. F*** you.

But thank you. At one point I know you were truly my best friend and yea we all mess up here and there, but a true friend never judges and always accepts you for you. Thank you for getting me through those hards times in high school, but I guess our friendship didn't mean enough when college came, temptations were strong, and peer pressure was everywhere we went. Sorry I wasn't strong enough to say no, sorry I didn't have the courage to stand up for myself.

But I want you to know, I still think about how awesome and amazing our friendship could have been. Of course I miss you. You were a huge part of my life, you were my partner in crime, my passing partner, my running partner, my shoulder to cry on when I felt down, or my bike ride partner when we both needed away from reality for a little bit. But most of all I miss the nights were we stayed up all night making bracelets and talking about what we wanted in our future.

I hope life is treating you well, because even through all the shit that went down, and the rude words that were sad I still care. But just know, I see, I see it all. But know I am doing ok too.

So thank you, but f*** you.