We all have that one friend who seems to always blow us off for their significant other, no matter what the plans are. There is always that one person that cannot seem to put their love life on hold for a few hours to spend some quality time with friends. There are ways of spotting this, and ways of knowing exactly where you stand in your friendships. Next time you think of making plans with this person, maybe think twice.
There are multiple ways to spot if your friend is blowing you off for hanging out with their significant other. The first is their schedule. Ever notice how they only have certain days of the week and certain hours of the day available (say on Wednesdays between 12 and 5 p.m.)? You may be dealing with someone who bases their social life and plans off their significant other. This friend is only available for those five hours on a Wednesday because they know their boyfriend/girlfriend will be working, or busy with something else. Be careful — if they were really a friend they would not only allot five hours once a week to spend time with you, to then rush away.
Another way to spot if your friend is blowing you off is making plans with you, and conveniently forgetting. Ever notice how you made plans a few days ago to grab a drink, and a few hours before suddenly, she cannot make it? Understanding that emergencies do happen — but if this happens multiple times there is the possible chance they made plans elsewhere. If this happens, take it with a grain of salt. Maybe confront your friend and tell her how you feel about your plans being constantly cancelled. If she is truly your friend, she will reschedule and make sure to be at the new date.
One of the most common ways to spot your friend blowing you off is social media. He just cancelled plans with you because he had to help their parents clean the house, or because he's tired. But a few hours later, he posts a picture at the beach with his significant other, or maybe he tweets about their plans for the day, leaving you very confused and maybe hurt. Not only did he blow you off, but he lied to you as well, and rubbed it in your face by posting it on social media. The best thing to do is ignore it. Commenting, liking, or retweeting something out of anger is never good in the long run.
Another one, which is the most obvious one of all, is when you have made plans days in advance, but when the time comes your friend is there with a plus one: their significant other. Now what do you do? You could turn around and leave, but you value your friendship (obviously a lot more than your friend does) with this person. Or do you suck it up and awkwardly third wheel? The choice is yours, but at the end of the day, it would have been nice to know that the friendship date turned into something a bit more complicated.
The best way to deal with a situation like this is to talk to your friend and tell her how you feel. It is not fair to you to be blown off, or watch as her significant other sits awkwardly through your coffee date. If you wind up coming across a friend like this, or are going through this situation, it is sometimes best to just take a backseat, and let your friend figure out she needs more from life than her significant other. Friendship is important, and it may just take some time for her to realize that. The best thing to live by is to do one to others as you want done to you.
If you feel you are blowing off your friendships for your love-life, relax. If your relationship is as strong as you believe it is, your significant other will be around after hanging out with some friends for a few hours. Try to talk to him or her, and let them know you want a little space to see some of your old friends. Give your friend a call and set up a dinner date. If you feel its the right thing to do, apologize to them. We all get caught up in our own lives and head sometimes. Space in a relationship to "do you" is always healthy, as well. Balance between friendships and romantic relationships is important to maintain.
