I know you're trying to help in your own way, but please stop. Stop blaming my actual emotions on my mood swings. Don't tell me how to get through this, because you really don't know. Don't make snide comments about the days where I literally can't convince myself to live. Don't patronize me when I act childish or a little too happy at times. Don't make it about you when I lash out. And please don't tell me my disorder scares you. I'm living with it, I know how scary it is, I don't need my friends telling me I scare them.

Now that we have that covered, thank you for sticking with me as long as you have. I truly do appreciate it. I just wish you could take a minute to see how this affects me, not just how it affects you. Take a moment to understand the actual symptoms of the disorder.

Please understand I am not having a "lazy day." I am having a dead day. Please understand that I am not simply sleeping. I'm silently sobbing, I'm wishing I could die. So please just let me have my pity party.

Please understand that when I'm angry, I am not necessarily angry at you. I'm just angry in general and I'm honestly trying so hard to deal with it. Please stop bringing my disorder up in every argument, and stop saying you can't wait for me to be on medication.

Please understand that on an up day my grandiosity is not intentional, and I'm sorry that I talk too much and that I'm so distractible. I honestly can't help this and I'm trying so hard to function.

I'm just trying to make it through the semester. I've had such a hard time and all I'm asking for is that you please recognize my struggles. I'm sorry I can't be neurotypical. If I could change that, believe me, I would. But I'm honestly at the end of my rope. I need you to love me as much on my bad days as you do on my good days. I can't deal with halfway friends at this point in my life, so when I say I'd rather you leave than only be there part-time, don't take it personally. I just need to know who's there and who isn't. And when I disappear for days or weeks at a time, please know that this is when I'm getting really bad and I need someone to reach out and let me know that I am not alone in this battle.

I know I'm asking for a lot, but I really need someone to understand what it's like to live in my shoes, dealing with this daily struggle between wanting so desperately to breathe easy while at the same time wishing I never took my first breath when I was brought into this world. Please see me. Please understand my struggle.