The concept behind "friends with benefits" or FWB is pretty controversial. To some, it sounds like a nightmare. Like, you're only friends with someone for the sex? What kind of language is that? But, to others, that's what they want. They don't want to deal with taking someone out on dates, buying anniversary gifts each month, or writing heart-filled texts every night before bed. They actually like the idea of having continuous sex with someone with absolutely no strings attached. And there is nothing wrong with that. Except for the fact that being friends with someone AND having sex with them is almost never possible.
We all watched those movies like "Friends with Benefits" or "No Strings Attached." They try the FWB thing, but in the end, either one of them wants something more while the other doesn't and they end up hating each other or they both fall in love with each other and live happily ever after. There is no in between. It either ends in war or paradise. Bottom line is that it ends no matter how much you want it to be strictly FWB.
We all have some sort of romance in us. As much as we say to ourselves, "I won't catch feelings, I won't fall for him, I won't fall for her," you can't really help it if you do. Because even when you guys are best friends and have been through thick and thin together, you are reaching a whole different level with them when you get sex involved. You see a new side of them that you've never seen before and that will affect you. Whether you like it or not.
Now, FWB and one night stands are completely different things.
You aren't besties with your one night stands. You don't have any history with them so you can literally have sex with them and leave the room without taking any feelings with you. In a FWB relationship, every time you guys have sex or do anything sex-related, it's hard not to wonder what it would be like to take it a step further. What it would be like to go out on romantic dinners and kiss each other with emotion rather than sexual charge. I mean, you'd still have sex but just plus the feelings, right?
One of the friends is bound to have these thoughts at least a couple times throughout the FWB relationship. And most of the time, they will feel comfortable saying it to the other partner because you guys are already friends and get along so well together, no harm in taking a step further... Except, the other person may not feel the same. And, somewhere along the way, one or both partners have broken hearts and the FWB just becomes another bad idea that they should've never started.
Don't get too sad, sometimes the FWB thing can lead to something amazing. Maybe having casual sex with each other was the push you guys needed to start seeing each other in a new light and start falling in love. You guys can give the dating thing a chance and see if it goes somewhere. It probably will, because since you guys are already friends and sexual partners, the romantic boyfriend/girlfriend part shouldn't be such a biggie. It's new territory for both of you and it can be an exciting experience you wish you'd have done sooner!
You see, FWB is a wild card. It can give you a great relationship and boyfriend/girlfriend who you do cute couple things with or it can give you a tough lesson on how catching feelings for someone can be self-destructive. You may end up being with the person you can't imagine your life without or with the person you blocked on social media and wished you had never met.
In the end, FWB is something that just doesn't last very long because as much as we think we can control our emotions, they do catch us by surprise. And when you finally fess up to it, you either lose the friends part or the casual sex part; there really is no in between.
