Don't Forget About Your Friends With Mental Health

Pay Attention To Your Friends Suffering From Mental Health, Too

Putting yourself first is important, but so is checking in on your friends.


Lately, I have been feeling left out of a lot of things, which has caused my anxiety to go through the roof.

When I was younger, I knew something was off right away. Physical pain always had a way to be treated. It was simple, you broke a bone it got fixed with a cast. Mental illness is not that simple. Ever since I was 13, I knew I was not just going through a physical pain, but that there was something mentally wrong. I soon began to realize that I have depression. As I grew and transitioned into moved through high school, my depression quickly grew into anxiety.

According to Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, the medical term for anxiety is "an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physical signs (such as tension, sweating, and increased pulse rate), by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one's capacity to cope with it."

Anxiety is incredibly frustrating, so living with it is even more frustrating. One minute you know that everything is fine, the next you have this undeniable feeling that everyone around you hates you. You get the feeling that everyone is saying that you're not pretty enough, smart enough, good enough or anything else negative. Many people do not realize the stressors that anxiety causes. This lack of realization plays an important role in the unacceptable terms to currently label people, who suffer from anxiety as "clingy" or "too needy."

I can tell you for a fact that I am not "clingy". I just require reassurance every once in a while. Due to my anxiety, I don't pick up on social cues easily. I will have what I think is one of the best conversations with one of my friends, but then it will turn sour for me because I will overthink the second they look at me oddly or use a different tone of voice with me. It's little things that other people don't notice, but I do. It's that if I ask you to do something, but you don't understand it that I am unable to explain it in a better manner not because I do not know how, but I just cannot in a way that you would understand.

I notice it because that is how my brain works. I overthink everything ever said to me throughout the day. I know that everything is okay. But because my brain is wired to think in an anxious way, that is what always ends up happening. I beat myself up for no reason, but it's because there's a part of me that feels as though everything is wrong.

If you ever catch me “trying too hard," then that is due to thinking myself into a mess and trying to combat how I feel.

More people need to stop the stigma of anxiety and realize that it's a way of thinking yourself into a mess. That it is a way of making situations bigger than they need to be. It' always putting others before yourself. It's always pushing your feelings to back and making sure that everyone else is heard. I understand mental health is becoming a bigger topic, but there are subgroups of mental health that are not discussed enough. There are so many of my friends who suffer from a sort of mental health issue and you could not tell it by just looking at them. So check in every once in a while. Especially when you know their week has not been the best. Bring them a cup of coffee, give them a hug or do something to make them smile for even just a second. As long as they know that you're there for them in a singular moment then that is all it can take some time to get them feeling a tad bit better.

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To The Girl Who Always Feels Left Out

Maybe next time...

To the girl who always feels left out,

Girl, let me just tell you, I know the feeling. It feels as though my whole life, I have been that girl. You know that feeling when you are standing in a group of people and someone comes up and asks everyone to go to lunch in that group... But you?

Or they make it even worse by saying "Oh, I guess you can come too." You guess I can come to?

No, thank you.

At that point, you feel like the only reason you are being invited is that they feel like they have to. Which more than likely is actually the case. What about when you ask your friend to hang out and she can't because she will be doing homework all night? However, an hour later, you see her with your other best friend. Oh okay cool, sorry for bothering you with my friendship.

You know you are the girl who is always left out when you are the designated "photographer" or you have to specifically ask if you can take a picture with them because they are obviously done taking pictures and did not want one with you.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who 'Float' Between Friend Groups

We all know "Hey, will you take this picture of us?" all too well. Am I right, ladies? Oh yeah, it is fine. I hate being in pictures. I definitely hate taking pictures to remember this wonderful time I'm having.

What about when you and your friends discuss doing something later during the week and you ask about it but "It's probably not happening anymore." Then you check and would you look at that, your "friends" are having fun without you.


Oh but don't worry about it, I had things to do anyway. You know, clean the house, work on homework that is due next week, binge-watch The Office for the third time this week. Fun stuff. Oh and better yet when you see your friends are hanging out without you. The next time they see you, they talk about how much fun they had.

Oh yes, please tell me about how much fun you had without me. I totally enjoy hearing about how "I totally missed out" and "I should have come." Well, an invite would have been well appreciated. But maybe next time, right? Wrong.

Yeah, I know what you are thinking, "Wow this girl is being so petty." Well if you are thinking that, then you obviously do not know the feeling. And to think about it, you probably are not the one in the friend group who is being left out. So think about who that person is and make them feel included next time. It would be greatly appreciated. You do not know how much of a difference it could make.

Yes, I know everyone feels left out sometimes, but time after time, it starts to get really old. Then after you have to start inviting yourself to hang out with people, you realize well since they are not inviting me themselves, maybe they don't want me here. And then surprisingly, you stop hanging out with them. Hmmm, I wonder what could've possibly happened.

Yes, I know, most people do not do this on purpose. I am sure I have even done it once or twice without realizing it, and I am truly sorry.

From one left out girl to another,

Good Luck

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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7 Signs You've Found An Authentic Friend

Never take true friendships for granted.


In a generation like ours, sometimes it's hard to distinguish a lifelong friend from a temporary one. There are friends for every part of your life: your childhood friends, college friends, work friends, and even friends that you play poker with at your retirement home. But one thing holds true during your life journey, hold on to your authentic friends. Here's how to distinguish one from an ordinary friend.

1. They remember specific details you've told them in the past.


How did they remember that your dog was turning 12 on June 6th? It's because they genuinely take the time to listen to you. This shows how much they care and want to know about your life.

2. They care about your well-being.


If you've heard your friend say things like "drive safe" or "text me when your flight lands", this shows how much they care about your safety. Authentic friends will make sure you are protected and feeling happy.

3. They always want the best for you.


We all know there is a big difference between a jealous friend and a supportive friend. Surrounding yourself with friends that want the best for you is important. More positivity will be brought in your life if you are aware of maintaining an encouraging environment for yourself.

4. They will be extremely honest with you.


True friends say it like it is. They won't lie and tell you your skirt matches your shoes if it doesn't. Honesty is the best policy when it comes to distinguishing a genuine friend.

5. They keep your secrets safe.


You can trust them and tell them anything. Authentic friends won't repeat secrets you've told them to anyone else, and this is such a refreshing feeling! These are reliable and trustworthy people.

6. They will go out of their way to help you.


This relates to caring about your well-being because they will do anything for you. Your true friends will go the extra mile without hesitation. They will be there for you wherever you need them and won't expect a favor in return.

7. They embrace your goofy side.


Everybody's got one! If you are able to be your true goofy self around your people then you, my friend, have found a true one! Enjoy being weirdos together.

If any of your friends meet these criteria, then you are blessed! Never take your true friendships for granted.

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