I want you to know first and foremost that I will always love you. I never said it enough when we were still close, so I want to say it now.
The years we spent together joking around, making videos, and writing musicals make up some of my fondest memories to date.
You picked me up while I was at my lowest and made me feel worthy of love and friendship again.
Lately, I've been flashing back to those years more often. Though middle school is usually a horrible time for most people (and believe me, it wasn't the best experience for me either), I do find myself looking back at some of the memories from that time and smiling.
When I moved away, I knew things were going to change. I knew that we would never be able to get that time back when we were all together, skipping through the streets and singing songs from "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog" without a care in the world.
Being able to visit every Christmas gave me hope. We would not talk for months, but the second we were all in the same room again it felt like no time had gone by.
I don't know if this hope for our friendship was a good thing or a bad thing, but being with you again felt so good. It felt right.
It's been six years since I had to leave you. Six years apart.
As a teenager, I thought that our friendship was rock solid. But six years can bring even the strongest relationships down.
I know you have your own lives. I have mine too. And it's a pretty good life. I just wish I had you in it.
I have tried to cling to you. Yes, we all have busy months where we have no time for anyone or anything but our lives. But all it takes is one text to let someone know you've been thinking about them.
Texts like this from you guys helped get me through some of my roughest times. Especially when I first moved away.
But over the years, these texts have gotten less and less frequent. And now I've found that I'm the only one sending them out.
Then you both forgot about our Skype session. I was so excited to talk to you again and catch up. I moved plans around to make sure I would have enough time to have a long conversation with you.
I did this not because I wanted to feel the childhood nostalgia again but because I want you guys to be part of my life in the present too.
But you forgot.
I'm not saying this is some sort of unforgivable offense. All I'm asking for is some reciprocation.
Friendship is a two-way street and I can only be ghosted or blown off so many times before I start to feel like you don't want me in your present lives anymore.
If you want to reach out, you know how to contact me.
If you don't, I will always fondly remember our late-night escapades and crazy plans with a warmth in my chest and a big smile on my face.