The four F’s that surround our lives and how we go about our day to day. These are the key to conversation starters. If you struggle with making small talk or are nervous when trying to make surface level conversation you can use these four F’s to your advantage.

There came a time when I myself struggled with what to say in one on one conversations with older actives in the fraternity I am currently pledging. This led to inconsistent conversations and a lack of connection between myself and the guys in the house. After five or six of these conversations with older actives, I began changing how I approached each one.

That is when I started utilizing the four F’s. I would start with talking about where they are from and who they would hang out with in high school/middle school, this would then lead me to ask how they spent their time outside of school with family.

A big part of connecting on a much more personal level was sharing experiences, such as when I would bring up my time spent in theatre/choir I instantly had a connection with any of the guys who sang as well. I was able to connect this way with each of the guys because I had all sorts of things that I was involved in during high school such as track, cross country, swimming, yell leading and a few weeks of wrestling to base my conversations from.

Each of these experiences and activities that I took part in were active/fun things to do in high school but ultimately, I have been able to utilize bonding with each person differently because they might have done the same activity and share their experience of it as well.`As you can see there are multiple sides of just family and friends that you can intertwine within your conversations. Now with faith and females, this side of the 4 F’s tends to be more personal because most people either have a strong faith or don’t really know much/choose not to care.

But females, there is almost always a story with what has happened in their life both good and bad. Most guys I have talked to who are in college at this point have either had experiences with girlfriends, being friend zoned or had a crush on a girl at some point. That is why talking about someone’s relationship/female life is so important because it opens a lot of doors of vulnerability.

It is one of the most important things to hold a conversation and be able to build a bond between each other. Utilizing the four F’s in any conversation can lead you to a proactive and deep conversation with anyone you sit down with.