Friendship works in such funny ways. I'm grateful to have some lifelong friends, but the saying, “Friends come and go,” certainly holds true for most of my experiences.
Some friends are present for you in times of need because they know that you're available for them when they need you as well. However, other friends only want you to be there for them and don't feel the need to return the favor when your time comes. Some friends enjoy talking solely about themselves and are too wrapped up in their own thoughts and worlds to care about or show compassion for you, their supposed friend.
Why do we keep these people in our lives, the ones who seem to use us in their personal moments of drama? Why should we hold onto them if they serve no purpose to us or don't try to benefit us in any way too?
Perhaps we keep them in hopes that they will change and become less self-absorbed. Perhaps we know that they're overall good people. Perhaps we know that they do have some positive qualities, which we hope will rub off on us.
But why have friends who bring negative energy into our lives? Sometimes it's difficult to let go, but if you have toxic or inconsiderate friends, then saying goodbye is the healthy road to travel. If this “friend” cares about saving your friendship, then he or she will fight for it. Even if he or she fought hard to rescue and conserve the friendship up to this point, it's possible that you will end up reverting back to being their punching bag again. As a friend, you don't deserve to be blamed by your “friends” for their actions and mistakes. You do, however, deserve to have an equal amount of time venting about your issues to them as they do to you. Despite how much energy and effort people put in, friendships don't always work out.
But let’s say your “friend” made an epic mistake that damaged you in some way, and you chose to back away from him or her. Days later, he or she called you to apologize, wanting to continue being friends. You attempt to fix the friendship, but then your friend ends up being a terrible friend yet again. It was worth the try to see if your friend learned from his or her actions the first time, but it's now your choice as to whether you want to continue the friendship if your “friend” mistreats you. If the friendship does not work out for the second time, and your friend decides to call you up a second time to apologize and start anew, then deeply consider whether or not retrying is even worth it for you at this point.
Friendships are complicated. Some friends won't allow us to be friends with people who they were formerly friends with. But why should one friend have so much power over you? Why should you have to choose between friends? This way of thinking sounds pretty immature to me. If you are faithful to one friend, then why can’t you be faithful to two friends? Your loyalty can be unlimited if you choose for it to be.
