Growing up, my mom always stressed that I need to surround myself with good, motivated and positive people. It makes sense. No mother wants her son or daughter to be around bad influences and fall into peer pressure. While it may seem obvious why parents want their children to be around positive and good people, I have learned another reason. It is crucial to have an external checks and balances in your life that sometimes cannot be your mom or siblings. Your friends are some of the closest people in your life, sometimes because they literally live next to you in your dorm or because they are the people you trust with your secrets that your family wouldn’t understand. Having good friends is very important because you are influenced by them and their advice, so it's critical to have wise friends. Have you ever caught yourself making a decision that a friend swayed you to do?
Just like the government has checks and balances to make sure a branch of government doesn’t get too powerful, your friends in your life are your life checks and balances to make sure one area of yourself does not get too carried away. Your life has different areas to it: school, family, friends, significant others, hobbies, etc. All of these areas somehow overlap like a venn diagram. It is important to dedicate a good amount to each area, but you cannot let any area be way bigger than the other. It is not healthy for, let’s say, the area of your love life to consume too much of you and consequently, take time and energy away from being there for your friends or studying in school.
This is when friends come into play as your external checks and balances for your life. When your friends see that you are getting way into one area like your love life, they usually call you out by letting you know that you are getting way too ahead of yourself. Friends are helpful because they are so close to you so they understand you and what is going on in your life, but are able to see things from a third person perspective away from the emotion and irrationality that you may have. For example, when a guy comes into your life that you can’t stop raving about, your friends can usually see if there are red flags a mile away. While you feel really into the guy, your friends will call you out and tell you the reasons why this guy might not be everything you thought he was. You may not see clearly what they are saying right away, but eventually as the honeymoon phase calms down, you see the red flags they told you about, and are able to shut it down before it goes any further. Even if your friends couldn’t prevent you from falling for him,, having a system of checks and balances in your life help so when the red flags do come around, you are not completely blind sided.
Your friends want what’s best for you and they always put you in check to make sure you don’t get hurt. I am so thankful for my friends that have helped me through so much, and I think while obviously having a strong relationship with your family is important, make sure to love and cherish your friends too. They know you sometimes better than you know yourself, which is why they try to help keep you in line from making any more stupid decisions!
