There is a lot of negative connotation when it comes to someone seeing a therapist or a counselor. People think they are "crazy" or "weak" if they go talk to a professional about their problems. Although, after taking classes about therapy and counseling as well as trying it out on my own (free counseling in college is absolutely amazing, just saying) it is not as "crazy" as people make it out to be. It is actually a great way to sustain mental heal and have an unbiased person to vent to about life's pressures.
Although, for the people who do not take this outlet when it is needed to their own advantage or simply just can not afford it, they turn to other people in their lives to fill this void. This is normal. We talk to our friends, parents, and partners about everyday things that happen in our lives so venting just goes along with that. It seems like it is a relief and some weight off your shoulders. Although, to the designated "listeners" in your life it may change the dynamic they feel in your relationship with them.
As someone who grew up wanting to be the shoulder for everyone to cry on, I know this first hand. If you are always open to listen to everyone's issues everyday it can really take a toll on you. You not only have the burden of your own issues on your shoulder's, but also the ones of the people you care about. You begin to be the only outlet they have and it can take away from how important your own life stresses are. You can begin to feel like that person is only using you to talk about those certain things and it is taking away from the actual core of the friendship. Not only that, but since you care about these people so much you feel bad talking about your own issues to them after this type of one way conversation begins. They talk over you without noticing. You feel that your own opinions, stories, and issues are not as important as everyone else's. It really takes a toll on your self worth.
You love these people. You care about these people and their issues, but taking on the roll of a free, personal therapist is not healthy. There needs to be a two way street of equal complaining about each other's own lives. You wanna know why? I am tired of being talked over. I am tired of being afraid to lose people by allowing them run over my words with their own. I am tired of thinking my opinion is not as important as others'. I am so tired of being silenced because their story about their pet dog did "this cute thing yesterday" is more important about a crisis that has been eating away at me for weeks. One person's life and stress is not more important than another. I want to have a friendship that is mutual, not one sided.
I love these people. Although, I want to be more than someone that asks them, "and how does that make you feel?" while they sit in one of those stereotypical counseling couches. I want my friendships to include telling one another about personal excerpts of our own lives, but I do not want that to be the only thing we are able to do with one another.
All in all, it is okay to talk to people about your problems. Although, we need to be more mindful of how that can take a toll on our relationships with people and how we talk to them. If all they are is your go to person when you're too stressed out then maybe you should reevaluate how your relationship with them should really be. Also, everyone has stresses and deals with them in different ways. Maybe asking them if something is bothering them too is enough to get them to open up. That goes for both people as well.
Just being mindful of not running over people's words when you talk to someone you care about and making sure your relationships with others are equal is very important.
