My Dearest Friend,
I woke up at 3 in the morning to the awful news. No, it wasn’t a text from you but from my mom. She told me of the terrible accident that I knew was going to change your life forever. As I remained positive and reassured you that everything was okay, we both knew I was wrong.
Two days and from 4,000 miles away you told me that it was all over. They say God works in mysterious ways but the most mysterious is when they take a loved one too soon. I was frozen among the crowded train of strangers. As I could feel the tears rush to my eyes I knew that your life was going to be forever changed.
The thing they never tell you about death is that it is not momentary. The feeling of losing someone isn’t instantaneous. It’s a feeling that dwindles with time but is always apparent. And insists on making an appearance at unexpected times. While the first moments you feel the most emotion, the grief is something that you will always feel. But the overwhelming feeling of sadness soon changes to acceptance and you learn to live without the soul you once thought could make you whole.
Feeling this is one thing, but watching your best friend feel this causes a whole other section of emotions. While I did not and can not feel what you have felt, my heart broke that July day too. But my heart broke for you.
Our friendship started so long ago that I don’t recall the exact moment we became best friends, but for as many years as I can remember, you were always my person. The girl I called with any good news, cried to when I needed to, and laughed all night with. From slumber parties to lazy pool days, we were side by side. It just made sense that freshman year of college we decided to be roommates. I look back on that year and it is still one of the best years of my life. But this year was even bigger for you. As everyone grows up freshman year, you started a new phase in your life that threw you years ahead in maturity.
There are a few defining moments in any friendship. Our biggest was the afternoon you looked at me and told me that you were going to be a mother. As the fears in your eyes were replaced with tears, I knew that both of our lives were going to change forever. Because while some run away from hard moments, I took pride in standing next to you.
As life continued to throw hurdles at you, I was more than willing to be the one you came to, just as you had been my person for so many years. One of the most wonderful things you can have in the entire world is a person who has your back when your falling, a person next to you when you need a laugh, and a person that continues to pull you along. But they never tell you hard this is when you’re in uncharted territories. Your vision of your future shattered that day. Everything you had planned on disappeared. The father of your child was taken all too soon. And you were left to pick up the pieces. While you continue to feel your world crumbling, I need to remind you that you are never alone.
So as a friend, this is my promise to you, especially in the hard times. I promise to be the person that will answer any 3am phone call when you need to talk to someone just to hear a voice. I promise to give you a laugh when you least expect it. I promise to sit in your living room and reminisce about the good old days and act like the future doesn’t matter. I promise to ignore the fact that your holey socks don’t match and that “yeah it is clean in here”. I promise to sing at the top of my lungs while dancing at any time or location.
But most importantly I promise that I will always be here. Whether here being your roommate, or 4,000 miles away, I promise that you will never be alone. Every heart breaks differently, and while your angel looks down on you, I promise it will be my job on earth to show that you are beautiful, smart, and loved.
Sincerely,
Your Forever Friend
