Friends Helping During Tough Times

13 Qualities GOOD Friends Have That Help During The Tough Times

We all need someone to hear us. Be that person who willingly listens.

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Whether if you are currently experiencing a tough or traumatic time in your life, or may have in your past, it is important to know that you are not alone. The people surrounding your life such as your friends in school, or at work, for example, are the ones who are there to provide their best effort towards your well-being. Or at least, the first ones to notice a sudden silence or disengagement.

Here are the 13 ways that friends can help during tough times.

1. They help build your trust

As you are able to explain what you have gone through, you gradually begin to gain their trust. Although you might not feel as if you have their full trust at the beginning, it eventually falls into place. You are able to trust that they will not tell anyone else what you have said to them if that is what you wish. A trusting and reliable friend is someone who you are able to go to when you feel as if you don't have anyone else.

2. They are willing to listen

Having a group of friends or one particular friend that you can go to is a wonderful outlet in the hopes of being heard and understood. True friends will always be the ones who are willing to listen at any time. This is so important because your friend, being a good listener, allows them to make sense of what you are trying to explain. They are also able to even hear and see another point of view that they might not have considered or thought of as you are expressing how you feel.

3. They can possibly relate to your situation

If they mention it or not, your friend could be going through a similar or even the exact same situation you are experiencing. By expressing your feelings and/or things you are up against, it can be the gateway for your friend to also reach out for advice or guidance that they need. You never know! One day down the road, you both can support one another through whatever you both are going through.

4. They can further strengthen your friendship

Engaging in conversation with a friend or friends that you trust is very fulfilling. As you become closer to one another, your friendship will strengthen. You begin to explore a different side to your connection that you might not have known existed. It now has gone from just a surface-level friendship to a deeper level. As this friendship advances, you now know that you can respectfully rely on this person even more for the best shoulder to lean on.

5. They can give their best advice for your benefit

As your friend first listens to you and processes the information you tell them, this provides them with the resources they need in hopes to give their best advice. A true friend shouldn't give you anything less than their best. The input that they give you should present you with ways in which you feel safe, happy, and confident.

6. They can refer you to someone if needed

Depending on how you are doing psychologically, it might raise concern. If your friend seems as if you will participate in self-harm due to your situation in the near future, they should feel comfortable in kindly suggesting for you to see a psychologist. This can be whether if you are in a minor or extreme case.

7. They are loyal to you

The definition of a loyal friend according to Dictionary.com is, "characterized by or showing faithfulness to commitments, vows, allegiance, obligations, etc." In this case, as you are experiencing a tough time in your life, you should feel confident in knowing that your friend is offering their best devotion to helping you, and nothing less.

8. Your friend(s) display non-judgemental qualities

It is necessary that during this tough time, that your friend(s) do not project judgemental qualities. You shouldn't be blamed for how you are feeling, or what you should have done or said in the given circumstance. Your friend(s) should understand and try to process how you are feeling, and give their best input, while not judging you.

9. They are interested in following up with you

A quality of a true friend is someone who doesn't just listen to your situation one time, and then throw you under the bus. They will continue to build you up, and not tear you down. They will be constantly eager to know how you are doing each day, whether you are progressing psychologically, or even getting out of the house and interacting with others in fun activities.

10. They will take care of you if needed

If during this time, you are feeling as if you are in need of extra nurturing, your friend should be able to provide that to you. In some circumstances, they will make sure to remind you that it is important to get enough sleep, that you are eating right, or even getting exercise to free your mind of what is troubling you.

11. They are willing to communicate with your family

If you have or may have experienced a tough time currently or in your past, wouldn't it feel nice to know that your friend(s) care enough to check in on how you are doing with your family? Especially if they are worried due to not hearing from you recently. It is important that a true quality friend will go the extra mile to make sure that you are OK, through other resources. This might also be with your friends at school or work.

12. They will want to be engaged

One of the best things about friends is that they want to be interacting with you through fun and enjoyable activities. What's more fun than going out to eat with a friend, going to the mall, a sporting event, or just having a fun and relaxing movie night? Your friends should find it necessary to help uplift you during this time of grief or unfortunate position you are in and help you feel as much joy as possible.

13. They will accept you as you are at your lowest point

Your friends won't think anything less of you during this tough time because of what you are going through. They see you as the same person they value and cherish each day. A quality of a true and loving friend is someone that will stand by your side during the obstacle you are now facing.

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An Open Letter To My Unexpected Best Friend

You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better.
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“It's so amazing when someone comes to your life and you expect nothing out of it, but suddenly, there right in front of you is everything you ever need."

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Dear Unexpected Best Friend,

You were the person I never thought I would speak to and now you are my very best friend. You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better. I can't thank you enough for everything you have done to shape me into the person I am today. You've taught me what it means to be selfless, caring, patient, and, more importantly, adventurous.

You don't realize how much better my life has become and all because you came out of nowhere. I didn't see you coming. I just saw you on occasion, and now I can't see my life without you in it. It's funny how life works itself out like that. Our unexpected friendship filled a hole in my life that I didn't know existed.

I don't even remember what life was like before you came along; it most likely had a lot less laughter and spontaneity than it does today. I can call you about anything and you would drop whatever you're doing to help me in any situation. You know when I need encouragement. You know when I am at my best and when I am at my worst. You always know exactly what to say.

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

I couldn't have found a better friend than you if I tried. We balance each other out in the best way possible. You are most definitely the yin to my yang, and I don't care how cliché that sounds. Because of you, I've learned to stop caring what people think and to do my own thing regardless of any backlash I might receive. You are my very favorite part of what makes me who I am to this day.

It's as if I wished up a best friend, and poof — you appeared right in front of me. I am so beyond blessed to have you and I wouldn't trade the world for all our memories. Thanks for coming out of nowhere.

Love you forever and a day.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Medders

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Four Quarters Will Always Be Better Than Ten Dimes, And I'm Not Talking About Spare Change

Quality over quantity any damn day.

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"You would rather have four quarters than 10 dimes, 20 nickels, or 100 pennies," is a phrase that at first glance would seem to just be about money. But it actually contains a deeper meaning that could definitely serve as good advice when it comes to the friendships you have in your life.

As an ambivert, I have always found myself happier when I surrounded myself with a large group of friends. It gives you a sense of belonging, something that is a proven innate human desire. Having large groups can be fun, but they also equally have the chance of being toxic for you. There's no point in surrounding yourself with individuals if, at the end of the day, they don't make you happy. Often times you'll hang out with people just because you crave company, but not THEIR company. There is a very important distinction.

Don't let your loneliness or your desire for more friends allow you to be consumed into toxic friendships. Because I have been there and done that. Many times. It's not a fun experience. It took me time to learn, but I have learned the valuable lesson of less being more. When you eliminate extraneous beings from your life, you have more time to focus on your more important relationships and the most crucial one of all, the one you have with yourself.

I am very blessed to say that people that I am close to in my life genuinely care for me and my happiness because this was not always the case. It takes a lot of trial and error, and also greatly impacts your mental health, but finding the right friend group for you is definitely life-changing.

Choose your friends wisely, you don't want a wallet full of useless change.

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