I'm not sure if you'll ever read this or if you'll ever want to read it. You've been on my mind and I felt like if I wrote this letter to you, maybe one day you'd receive it or find it or whatever.

You friend dumped me, for a reason I still don't really know. At the time I was a heart broken, I hope you realize that. Like teen fiction novel heartbreak. It was the summer after our freshman year, we were supposed to be having fun and going on adventures together. Instead you were distant and weird and when I confronted you about it you seemed concerned. You thought I wanted to talk because I was upset. You acted like you cared. Until you realized I was onto what you were doing, then you got weird. I spent the rest of that summer alone because all of our friends followed your lead and stopped talking to me. Although that didn't stick once school started. I laid on my couch for days crying hoping that you'd text me saying it was a mistake.

You said we were too different to be friends and weren't right for each other. Which never made sense to me but that too long ago to dwell on. It was like a real break up only not, all at the same time.

Honestly, I've moved on from the pain you caused me. Whenever people mention you or I see you online, I don't get angry or jealous or depressed. It's nice to know what you're up to. I do miss you though. I thought we'd graduate and go to college together. We'd be roommates and then get an apartment and it would be like a scene from a movie.

Throughout high school, there would be times that something would happen that I wish I could've talked to you about. Issues with my family, which you understood because your family had as many issues as mine. Or drama over boys, which you always seemed so rational about. But I knew if I tried to text you it wouldn't have mattered. You wouldn't have answered me anyways. You were done with me.

I just wish you'd understand how much it hurt me that you all of a sudden decided you didn't want to be my friend. It seems like it didn't affect you at all. We were friends for five years, how was it easy for you to destroy a friendship of that long? Did I really mean that little to you?

Sometimes I wonder where we'd be if we stayed friends? Would we have moved in together and spent our summers traveling? Probably not. Realistically, we probably would've drifted apart like the rest of our friend group and I did. But that would've been easier to handle. It would've been gradual and I could've protected my heart better.

I hope you're doing well, I mean that. Despite ruining that summer for me, you cutting our friendship off helped me grow as a person. I became stronger and I learned to rely on myself more.

But I don't regret any of it. I would go through the heart break and sadness and awkwardness that ensued because our friendship was legendary. I lived at your house during the summer and on the weekends, your family was my family, we went on adventures to Subway and Big Lots and man did that make us feel cool. The time we spent together was everything my middle school heart ever wanted.

So thank you for breaking my heart because I'm better now. But know that I'll always be around if you decide you want to meet up for coffee or grab lunch. And I'll always be a phone call or message away if you needed me.

Hopefully we'll talk again one day.

Sincerely,
You Ex-Best Friend