We all have people come into our lives that we think will be forever friends. We love them, care for them, support them and believe in them. But what happens when they give up, either give up on the relationship all together, or just you? I've had it happen one to many times, even to the friends I never thought I could live without, it hurts. It really hurts. You feel like you're not good enough, or you did something wrong or you just were a bad friend in some way. But then you realize, it actually has nothing to do with who you are, but who they are. I believe that everything happens for a reason, you live and you learn, you become stronger from what hurts you. But sometimes it takes a lot to realize that, you have to really dig deep, look back on the relationship, and look for what went wrong. Here is my story, here is my heartbreak, and here is what I did to become a stronger person from it.
I had this one friend, we were best friends since 5th grade, we were inseparable for years. We would have fights on and off, but nothing that would every really break us, we would always find ourselves coming back to each other. Once the end of high school came around, things started to change, we became distant, we had other friends, other clubs, but we still tried to find time for each other. But then, the summer that really makes-or-breaks it for high school relationships came around, and we became distant. I tried to keep in contact, keep updated with their life, but I began to see that I was pulling for a relationship that began to seem one-sided. It was like I was playing tug-a-war with no one on the other side pulling. Freshman year came around, and silence was among us, as for many of my high school friends. But the thing was, I thought we were more than just high school friends, because we were, we were more than that, we were best friends since 5th grade. But over time I realized I was wrong, because if we were as close as we seemed we would have done anything to keep up with each other, we would have visited, called, texted, we would have tried. But that didn’t happen. So I tried again, I tried one last time to test the waters. It failed, and miserably I must say, there was silence, fighting and misconceptions for the whole time. It was over, and at that point, I was angry. I had done so much to work for this friendship, I tried so hard. But I was getting the one-sided tug-a-war, I was getting the “fair-weather-friend”, I was getting someone who didn’t care about me anymore. Because if they cared, they would have asked how I was doing, how I was feeling, they would have reached out to me and asked me how my day was, even if we were hundreds of miles away, but it was over. That friendship was over. And have I heard anything since then…? No. There was no ending to that road, it was a silent path that may get some chatter if we are stuck in a room together for some reason. But there will never be the laughs, late night snacks, boy talks, heart break fixes, the fun… it’s over. And this is my peace with it, I’m okay, and I’m okay because I know I wasn’t worth fighting for to them. And that’s okay, it just shows me who they are, and who I am to them.
So here it is, it happens. It happens to the best of us, to the best of our relationships, to the ones we thought would last forever. It happens. But you’ll get past it, you’ll get through it, you’ll live, and you’ll move on. You become wiser, and stronger. You become more independent, you put another layer over your heart, and you move on. Always know that you should never devalue yourself for someone else, you are you, you are who you are from what you have experienced, so don’t be afraid to move on. Don’t be afraid to say that you have learned from your mistakes, because if you never learn, you’ll never be good enough for the person who doesn’t see how great you are.
