As guys and girls alike prepare for college, there is bound to be some built-in anxiety. That's normal and natural, even expected. Moving away from home for the first time, leaving behind your parents and lifelong friendships is quite scary. There's nothing hypothetical about it. You are out there on your own, and you just want to fit in. You worry about everything, some big things and some minutia that seem insignificant to everyone but you. There are some things that you really do need to be concerned about (worry just isn't the right word for how you should feel when starting such an amazing time in your life). But, with that said, there are some areas in which it's crucial that you don't make a mountain out of a molehill. One of these (contrary to popular belief) is your roommate assignment.

There are a few critical things to keep in mind here. First of all, your roommate truly is chosen randomly. There is no psychic in the res life office who finds your perfect match or future best friend. On the other hand, just because it's a random assignment, you shouldn't assume that the two of you won't click. You just have to wait and see, and accept the randomness of the process for what it is.Yes, it's a crapshoot, but most other freshmen are in the same boat. Remember that.

Second, you almost always know who your roommate is and their contact info some time before the school year starts. This can be a blessing and a curse. You usually get to know your roommate: where they are from, how many siblings they have, and how they like to spend their free time. If you find that you have a common interest with your roommate, that can go a long way towards you not just tolerating each other, but becoming good friends. If it initially appears that you have nothing in common, don't worry. Often people find common ground once they are around each other on a daily basis. Many times, people seem to have little things in common that they only discover when living together, such as a shared obsession for a particular TV show. Either way, initial conversations between future roommates are usually via text and seem to be rather cautious. Neither party wants to say anything that will offend, or potentially scare away their future living partner. So, don't stress too much if you and your roommate don't seem to have much in common or really click at the start of things.

Let's not forget that, as a college student, you spend less time in your room than you might anticipate. As a college student, you have a lot on your plate. Classes, extracurriculars, and other facets of your social life are of paramount importance. Maybe you have a job, either on or off campus. You have to make time for errands, for little trips to the store here and there. You likely want to set aside a block of time to work out. You need time to walk to classes, especially if you are on a large campus. Eating takes longer than you would think, as walking to the dining hall, waiting in sometimes long lines, and then finally eating usually takes about an hour. In college, it initially seems that you have abundant free time, and in a certain sense, you do. You are only "in class" for about 15 hours a week. So, it's true that the rest of your time is technically "free", but that time gets filled quickly with other obligations or things that you set as priorities in your personal schedule. The point is that you probably won't be spending much time in your room. And, neither will your roommate. Therefore, the amount of time that both you and your roommate are in the room at the same time may very well be confined to sleeping hours. What does this mean? If you and your roommate aren't best friends, or even friends at all, that's okay. You just need to respect each other's sleep schedules and personal space, and have some level of decency towards them.

If nothing else unites the two of you, you are both freshmen at the same college. Your roommate might come with a whole network of friends from high school, and you might know no one or visa versa. Either way, those high school friendships that seem unbreakable for the first week will mostly fade. I'm not saying that you will suddenly stop talking to your best friend, but I am saying that many people who you considered "friends" in high school will lose touch with you, even if you all are at the same school. If your roommate latches onto contact with friends from other schools, that too will wane as the year progresses. Sure, friends still chat, and have meaningful relationships, but your roommate is unlikely to be constantly texting friends at other schools in the middle of an October school week. So, even though the two of you might be very different socially, both in terms of the number and type of people you associate with both on and off campus, you both have one special bond: you are college freshmen. No matter how confident your roommate seems, he too is trying to find himself, and form or at least reshape (to some extent) his identity. Because of this, many roommates often bond in the beginning of the year, especially if they both don't know many people.

Lastly, if your differences seem truly irreconcilable, you can always switch roommates. Most colleges don't allow room switches for a few weeks, to avoid quick and reactionary swaps. I, too, would encourage everyone to really give their roommate a chance before judging them. Often, how your roommate may appear over text or in public may not be how they are with you, behind the locked door of your room. If, after giving things a chance, the two of you really don't get along, then it may be best to switch. This usually is the best option only when one (or both) roommates are intentionally going out of their way to disrespect the other. Sadly, this does happen sometimes, but the vast majority of roommates are willing to compromise and co-exist when necessary. Sometimes, roommates are willing to go much farther than that, and become good friends with their roommate, and trust them as someone they can confide in. This is the best kind of roommate relationship, and I'm thankful everyday that I have it.