It's hard to believe that I was sitting in that same seat last year, blissfully baking some cookies to share with friends as they moved in for rush.

College was a huge blank canvas, as I had been pushing all my expectations of it away, shoving them off the table and yelling "YOLO!" every time the topic arose the entire summer. Easy to do when you aren't there yet.

I had so much ahead of me that I could never have foreseen, so many unopened sorrows and joys.

If I could give one thing that you should remember, for college, and for the rest of your life, it is that Jesus Christ is worth EVERYTHING.

Paul wrote this truth in Philippians:

Sure,

Going into last year, I would have said that God meant more to me than anything else, that "In Christ alone my hope is found"... but my actions told a different tale.

I grew bitter and discontent when the things I expected were taken away, when my course took a difficult path, a path of stress, inner battles, fear, loneliness, and sadness. I rebelliously thought that I could write the story better than God. Ungratefulness. Satan's sin. The sin of us all.

Things looked okay outwardly, but inwardly the Lord was testing me right where it hurt most, taking from me the things I most idolized, most craved.

When I desperately wanted to belong and to be popular, when I craved the love and acceptance of others more than anything else, my Father lovingly removed that option. In my weakness, He brought me to my knees and to His feet. And there I found joy and peace unfailing.

But I still look back sometimes, angry that He 'deprived' me of a comfortable and joyful first semester that I never deserved.

But I want to be thankful, to thank Him for even the pain. He has truly 'shown me in every season that He is good to me.'

Like Paul says, God, give me the strength to count all as loss to knowing You.

If a hard semester, a stressful week, disillusions you with yourself and brings you closer to Christ, it is absolutely worth it.

"Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere."

Do we believe it? Do you believe it as you head into college?

You don't know what's ahead. Not really. You can expect, but expectations usually lead to discontentment and frustration.

I don't mean to sound all doomsday. Your year could be absolutely wonderful and pleasant. But maybe that's not what you want or need. I testify, there is deep beauty in the hurt, in the valleys.

Christ does know what's ahead. He holds you and your future in His hands. Therefore, I encourage you, whatever cup God gives you,

don't waste it,

don't reject it,

don't escape it.

Be thankful for it, by His power in you. Because God is always good and everything He gives is good. (I say with gritted teeth.)

Drink the cup. Be fully alive and given in the present.

You can trust Him, He whose love is greater than all others, He who was pierced for your sins. He is worth the cost of anything you might lose in following Him. This world is not our home! Jesus is our King, and no one else!

You know, they say college is about self-discovery.

That it's about chasing your dreams.

But I have learned the hard way to choose the better part. To choose Christ. To choose His dreams and desires instead. 'To let go and trust when I cannot see.' This life isn't about discovering self. It's about discovering the Almighty God.

Self certainly failed me. My dreams only left me angry. All I discovered about myself was a dark closet of ugly sins I had buried.

So, you've got a choice, and it's pretty hard and fast this time around. First semester sets the tone for the rest of college, maybe the rest of your one life.

This world is not worth your soul. Please don't sell your eternal soul for temporary pleasures. The alcohol, the parties, the friends, the status, the grades, the drugs: not worth your eternal soul.

The joy of freshman year was not in finding, but in losing, that I might know Him better.

What are you willing to lose for Jesus? Are you willing to count all as loss? (I wasn't, and I'm still learning.)

Lose yourself,

Lose your popularity,

Lose your friends,

Lose your dignity,

Lose your ego,

Lose your plans,

Lose your very life.

But never lose the treasure hidden in the field: Jesus Christ, the pearl of great price.

And I am thankful for all the pain that life has brought if the pain has brought me closer to Him, whom I will greet 'where the waves grow ever sweet,' He who walks beside me even now. For "He is not far from any one of us."