At the end of last semester, I did a reflection piece on my first semester of college. I’ll link it here, https://www.theodysseyonline.com/freshmen-reflection, in case you want to refresh your memory or read it for the first time.
In that piece, I expressed how fast first semester flew by, so imagine my surprise when I realized that I currently have less than a week left in my freshman year. As I mentioned in the previous article, this year was not by any means easy for me, especially first semester. But life has a funny way of working out, and second semester definitely proved that to be true.
I am, I feel, back to “myself”. First semester was a blur of seemingly everything crashing down all at the same time. I collapsed momentarily under the pressure, and I didn’t really know how to act because these things had never happened to me before. As a result of this, I often viewed myself as someone I didn’t know anymore. But now, I feel like I’m back. Not necessarily that I haven’t changed, because I have, drastically and for the better. More like that I am proud of the things that I do, the words that I say, and the feelings that I have. I no longer shame myself or possess so much self-hatred.
In my first article, I discussed, in a way, how alone I felt without my “people”, even though I was involved in a lot of organizations. That changed this semester. I rejoined band, and within the first week of joining I felt more at home than I had all first semester. This is still true today, all these months later. I am beyond excited to continue to get to know all my fellow band geeks and share experiences with them, dedicating my fall to marching band.
I just feel like I’m finally where I need to be. Ball State is my home now, and it finally feels like it, instead of just a temporary place for me to go to school. I know how all things work, I know people, and I know who I am here.
This is not to say that second semester was easier than first semester, because it wasn’t. The difference between first and second semester was simply the fact that I was more prepared to handle my problems. Things haven’t gotten easier; I’ve just gotten better. Cheesy, I know, but I’m feeling sentimental (and very sleep-deprived, shout-out to finals!).
In my reflection on my first semester, I ended the article on a positive note, and I think that’s important so I’m going to do the same here.
I am so thankful for the friends that I have made here, because without them I wouldn’t still be at Ball State. I am so thankful for my friends that I’ve kept from high school because I really would not have made it through first semester without them. And of course, I have to thank my family for supporting me always.
See you in three months, Muncie. I’m ready for anything you decide to throw at me.
