As the fall quickly approaches, I soon begin to realize that this is it. I will actually be starting my first semester of college in a few short weeks. Instead of waking up in my room to go to high school, I will be waking up in a dorm room to go to actual college classes. I’m so happy and grateful that I’ve made it here, but I’m also shocked and somewhat scared because I have no idea what to expect.
I was lucky enough to have my best friend, Ajoia be chosen as my roommate, and also lucky to have found a college I love that’s not too far away from my family. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to be getting some me time away from my mom and dad, but I know that sooner or later I’m going to have that need to see them. I’m happy mostly I will say to be starting a new journey with some familiar faces and some new ones. I truly do have the urge to want to branch out and live on my own and do what needs to be done for me by myself, but there’s always that fear in the back of my head.
What if I don’t succeed and make everyone not as proud of me? What if it’s too much or I can’t handle it? These are the questions that linger in my head the closer it gets to move in day at Coker College. Even though I know I’m not supposed to know everything, for a control freak like me sometimes I wish I did. I want to make everyone proud and show off my strengths and say, “Yeah, I did that!” I know it won’t come easy but nothing ever does.
Even with the negative questions and pressure to be my best, I step back, take a breath, and come to the realization that I am only human. This is meant to be an experience, something to enjoy. Not a stress builder even though college is rumored to be one. I understand that not every day is going to be built up of sugar and spice and everything nice, I understand that it’s my job to keep focus and steer clear of anything negative, but why won’t my brain register this? I keep telling myself everything is going to be just fine, but I can’t shake the What if feeling.
At the end of the day though, it’s plain to see. If I wasn’t as smart, or intrigued by learning as I know I am, I wouldn’t be here. If for some reason I knew for a fact I couldn’t do it, I wouldn’t be here, but I am here and nothing in this world will stop me from getting to where I need to be and want to be. I will be successful and I will make everyone proud and I know that Coker College is the place for me where I can get the job done. After visiting there for orientation and on my own in the spring, the vibe it gave off was one that I had never felt before. It was positive and so welcoming something you rarely feel in places anymore, but this school, I know it will make me happy and help me to reach my goal in becoming a psychologist. I know Coker College is the college life for me.
