College. New friends. New town. New life. New world. New you.

In a few weeks most of the class of 2016 will be starting college, and I don’t know about you, but to me, the thought is terrifying.

I am one of those people who always lived fearlessly in terms of the future. I remember being in the eighth grade and talking to my guidance counselor about the odds of me getting accepted into King’s University in the United Kingdom. The thought of being so far away from home and being so independent excited me more than anything. In 2014 I was blessed with the opportunity to serve on a medical mission trip in Belize. During that trip, I felt a pulling in my heart towards Belize University. I think you get my point on how college worked in MY mind. Eventually, I came back into reality and decided that maybe being in another country for college wouldn’t be my best idea.

Since my big revelation, my dream college has been the University of Alabama at Birmingham. By the grace of God, and the grace of God alone, I was approved for a loan and will be able to pursue that dream.

However, I move in on the twenty-third of August, and that is so incredibly close that I am finding myself beginning to stress.

What stresses me out? EVERYTHING.

In high school, I always took the most rigorous courses offered to me, in order to better myself, teach myself time management and study skills, and prepare myself for college. I usually did very well in my classes- all A’s with an occasional B. Now I find myself wondering if it was enough? Is all of that hard work really going to pay off in the long run? What if I have to withdraw from a class because I’m simply not capable of processing and retaining the information? In high school, my parents were not paying for these classes, but now, I find myself playing a different ballgame.

Due to me having received a university scholarship (PTL for that), I am required to live on campus my freshman year. Since I have decided to go through formal sorority recruitment (which is stress in itself), I will be moving into my dorm a week before my roommate. So, in other words, instead of living in Birmingham (which is so big that it would swallow my hometown up and laugh at it) with my roommate, I will be doing my first week alone. Those lonely nights missing home just got even more lonely.

Also, believe it or not, choosing a roommate was a breeze for me. The UAB Class of 2020 has had a GroupMe for a while now. One day this really lovely young lady messaged me and said that she thinks we have a lot in common and would be a great match as roomies. Skeptical at first, of course, I turned to what most of my generation would turn to in order to figure out if we would indeed be a solid match as roomies, and that was stalking on social media. I will shamelessly admit that, because honestly, if you haven’t stalked someone on social media, then do you really even know them? After going through Instagram, Twitter, and the works, I realized that we would be perfect roomies. Although we haven’t lived together yet, I don’t foresee there ever being any issues between us. We get along so well, and have seen eye to eye on everything we have discussed so far. However, the thought of sharing a bedroom and a bathroom and all of my other previously personal places still surfaces slight anxiety.

What I have come to learn is this: all of those things are normal. It is normal to be worried about how you will adjust to college in terms of location, academics, and connections with your peers. However, all of that is just part of it. Everyone goes through it eventually. Don’t be afraid to call home on your first night alone – no one will judge you. Don’t be worried about if you’re going to pass your first 8 AM college class – the girl sitting next to you is feeling it to. There are people lined up around the block to help you during these times. Reach out into your school and find these people, and hold onto them tightly. They don’t have to do what they do; they do what they do because they understand, and they care about your success.

I have a tattoo on my rib cage that reads “be free,” which I got to remind myself daily that any anxiety that I feel, I am bringing upon myself. No, I’m not necessarily “choosing” to have anxiety, but I am choosing to not let go of it and accept that what will be, will be, no matter what I do.

So, yea, is the thought of college terrifying? Absolutely. Am I going to let it slow me down or hold me back from letting these next four years be the best ones of my life? Absolutely not.