As humans, we can't help but worry. It's a universal emotion that we allow to interfere with our day to day lives. Many of the things that cause worry within us are things that we would be better off not worrying about. While the feeling is overwhelming, we have the power to overcome it. These are four common things that worry our minds, and what we should be focusing on instead:
1. Things you cannot change.
You can’t change time. You can’t reverse it nor can you skip ahead. But you can live in the moment. Some things are irreversible, and some things you can’t avoid. It only costs your sanity and joy when you become hung up over the inevitable. Don’t lose sleep over these things, because you also can’t change your body’s need for sleep.
Instead, focus on: Your accountability, enthusiasm, relationships, diet, happiness, responsibility, organization, talents, loyalty, communication skills, work ethic, open-mindedness, passions, integrity, etc... See, it’s looking like you won’t have time to worry about the things you cannot change if you focus on the things that you can.
2. Things that you are predicting will turn out badly.
Do you ever think about something and have a gut feeling it isn’t going to be everything you wanted? You’re sitting there thinking, “What in the world have I gotten myself into?” “I’m not really sure how _______ is going to go.” Yeah, well, that’s probably what people were thinking when they were first introduced to shrimp and grits. A combination that sounds like a disaster turned out to be a famous dish served on a silver platter. I think I’ve said enough.
Instead, physically write down the positives and the negatives of the experience that you are approaching. You will often find that the negatives you list are your predictions and negative scenarios you have made up in your head. The list of the positives will be things that you know for sure you will take away from the experience whether it turns out good or bad. You will most likely write “a learning experience” on that positive list. Worse case scenario, it’s a learning experience. That’s not even bad!
3. Something you will soon experience, that didn’t go so well for somebody else.
Somebody else’s “once upon a time” didn’t end so “happily ever after” when they went to the ball, and you’re thinking you’re going to lose your darn glass slipper, too. Wrong. Not the case. You wear different shoes. You can’t fit into their shoes and they can’t fit into yours. That’s because you’re different people! That alone is proof that you shouldn’t be worried you will have the same bad experience as someone that isn’t YOU.
Instead, never let it slip your mind that even among your best friends and the people that are the most like you, there are differences. Differences come in the form of personality, character, strengths, and weaknesses. Don’t focus on the experience that you will soon encounter that didn’t go well for them. Focus on what is positively different between you and that individual. This will help give you a better idea of why your experience won’t be identical.
4. Minuscule details of something taking place far in the future.
This is also known as robbing yourself of all the fun that is destined to come your way. It’s not so much that you are focusing on the small details of something happening far off that you shouldn’t be worrying about, it’s that you aren’t allowing spontaneous occurrences to happen in your life. You feel so in control that you can’t let go enough to allow things to play out the way they are destined to.
Instead, focus on the big things. Focus on the things that will take you the longest to accomplish or that will be the most difficult, just for simple pleasure of getting them out of the way. Just let the rest happen.
