For me, Father's Day was every day. Starting from the time I was 4 years old, my parents realized they needed a parent to stay home. I find people's reactions funny when I end that statement with "so my dad became a stay-at-home dad." While I never knew anything different, as I started my first year of college I truly realized how unique my experience was. Thus, this Father's Day I want to thank my dad for the lessons he has taught me- four lessons in particular.
1. To Show Up
You didn’t have to be a stay-at-home dad. You have two degrees and had a stable job, but you decided to show up and become a stay-at-home dad, because that’s what our family needed. As I ventured into this “adult-ish” world my first year of college, I realized the luxury, but more importantly, the value of having a parent at home while you're growing up. Whether it was the little 7-year-old who needed to leave school because she became sick or the 13-year-old who needed a ride to softball practice, I always had a person to call and come home to. I now realize I miss the comfort of knowing that my dad would be at every choir concert, softball game, and school field trip. Living on my own now, I am greeted by silence when I get home. It makes me realize how lucky I was to always have a face to greet me when I got home. Thank you for showing up for our family. If you have taught me anything, it’s to show up for your family because family is always a number one priority.
2. To Make Mistakes
You did your best, but staying at home wasn’t a natural transition. From learning to braid my hair to dealing with raging teenage emotions to the occasional attempt of cooking dinner, there was a learning curve. You weren’t always perfect, but seeing you triumph over your mistakes always encouraged me to not be afraid to make them. I learned early on that perfection was a myth, but that determination was a prize in itself. Thank you for teaching me that, with enough persistence, I could learn how to do anything.
3. That You’re Always Going to Have “Haters”
Now, in 2016, having a stay-at-home dad is becoming more common, but growing up I remember the many confused stares from the lovely PTA moms (bless their hearts). Those sly remarks of pity, judgment, and awkwardness you faced daily. Looking back, I can’t imagine how you endured regularly having to explain that you’re not retired and being a stay-at-home dad was a CHOICE. It must have been exhausting. However, I also remember you not minding the jeers. To this day, you still remind me that with each choice you make there will always be “haters” (how hip of you to use this term). Thus, you might as well not care. You always reminded me that you knew you were doing what was best for your family, so your opinion was the only one that matters. Thank you for teaching me to not care about what other people think.
4. That Gender Roles Don’t Have to Exist
While any family, stay-at-home dad or not, can teach this lesson to their children, I lived it. I saw how a female can thrive in a professional career while being a mom, and how staying-at-home is a job that requires skills that expand past the label of “breadwinner”. I also witnessed how extremely worthy a position it is to be fulfilled by a dad. I learned that jobs around the house can be completed by any parent and that I do not have to be limited by my gender.
To me Father's Day was every day growing up, but now as rising sophomore in college I realize that this Father's Day you need a special thank you. I am a thriving, driven, and successful adult (well, sort of an adult), and as I look back I have you to thank. While I will never know if having a parent at home contributes to my success I believe it did. I believe having you at home while growing up set me up to be the adult I am today. So this Father's Day I thank you for being a stay-at-home dad. I know that it was a choice, and I'm grateful that you chose me and our family. Happy Father's Day. I love you.
