The "F" word.
You know the one. The emotion we all inevitably feel at some point in our lives. It creeps in out of nowhere, like an unwanted guest, and takes over, consuming us both mentally and physically. Traces of it linger and remain, even after the situation or issue has been resolved. It is difficult to control, and once it has arrived, it is quite a chore to get rid of.
Fear is likened to darkness. Fear is a response or a reaction to something, an expectation of what could possibly happen. It is meant to protect us from harm or danger. No one willingly wants to feel fear, at least, I do not. Who wants to feel that terrible feeling worm its way up your body, from your the tips of toes to the hairs on your neck? It sends your whole being into overdrive where you want to scream, cry, and run all at once, but you are so paralyzed by the strength of the angst that none of those things happen.
I have heard that fear, or anxiety and the like, can often be compared to running into a rattle snake on a trail out of nowhere. You immediately react, both mentally and physically, but more often than not you are completely helpless. Then, upon further evaluation, you realize the rattle snake is fake. You start to breath easier, wiping the sweat from your brow. Though for the remainder of your trail walk/run that day, and very likely for a while after that, you will be on the lookout for that rattle snake. Adrenaline continues to pump through your veins, causing you to be extra jumpy. You're sensitive to things you normally wouldn't be, expecting its fear-producing presence to pop up again at any moment.
Personally, I have let fear rule majority of my life. There have been many opportunities I have missed out on because of being almost paralyzed by fear. Fear of what, exactly? The unknown mostly, and that other "F" word... failure. The "what ifs" consume my mind, followed by much more negatives than positives. However, I have come to realize that this is no way to live. Constantly afraid of what may happen or the possibility of losing or a misstep. It is quite miserable, actually, because in life, failure is indeed inevitable. It is what you do with both "f" words, fear and failure, that matter. How you react to them and the power you give them.
It is impossible to feel fear and love at the same time. You do not love what is causing you to be afraid. You do not feel warmth or affection for the rattlesnake that scared you half to death on the trail. You do not wish to have that nightmare that kept you up for hours in the night again because you feel a tenderness toward it. You do not hope to have a horrific accident or injury repeat itself because it was such a great experience. No, you cannot love and fear simultaneously. One of the emotions will always overrule the other. We fear because we love, we do not love because we fear.
Love is requested. We ask for it. We desire it and crave it. We need it to survive. It is a requirement for life.
As we go through life, we naturally seek love and give it, even when we are unaware that we do so. We learn to grow attached or particularly fond of sports, animals, arts, clothes, objects, food, and most of all, people. Instinctively, as human beings, we long to feel that love returned. However, the worry of it not being reciprocated can become quite concerning. I doubt one gets through this thing called life without ever having felt the pain of not being "loved back" by someone we have much esteem for. It is just one of those "things" life brings. Where fear and love meet, or clash, so to speak.
Be that as it may, it has become clear to me recently that in real love, fear does not exist. So, what is real love? Society tells us that love is rarely a motivator in marriage or relationships anymore. The other "L" word seems to take more precedent... lust. Both "L" words are emotionally driven, however lust involves a physical element, sex, where sex is not a requirement in love. Personally, I have a fondness for many people and things that I do not have a physical relationship with, nor do I need it to survive. It seems we, as a population, have lost sight of what the word love actually means. We tend to spout it out casually to others, "Bye, love ya." There is no problem with this per se, but we are almost making light of something that is in fact a big deal.
In 1 John 4:18, the Bible says, "There is no fear in love [dread does not exist]. But perfect love (complete, full-grown) love drives out fear, because fear involves [the expectation of divine punishment], so the one who is afraid [of God's judgment] is not perfected in love [has not grown into a sufficient understanding of God's love]."
In my life, I can only think of one example of love that shows the true depth of this four-letter word. Jesus giving His life for the sin of mankind. That is love, perfect love. This is the type of love that is lasting, pure, and most of all, free. The price has already been paid for us. We will always be loved back by the One who loved us first. This type of love not only wins, it has already won the battle, long ago.
