I used to think that the key to finding self-love was to change the thoughts I had about myself, but I've recently learned that it runs much deeper than that. Many reasons we feel negatively about ourselves and the way we look is due to the set beauty standards we see on T.V. and in magazines. We learn to compare ourselves to others: our body isn't as toned as that model's, our skin isn't as clear as that person's. Both men and women are held to mostly unrealistic standards as to how we should look and act. I decided I was tired of being unhappy with myself and this summer I made it a priority of mine to find and to love myself. I'm writing this article to kind of share what I've learned so far in hopes that other people decide to take the same journey.

I've always been a person who refrained from having negative thoughts about others and what they might be wearing or how they might be acting (to each their own, y'know?). This summer, however, I really started to go out of my way to mentally compliment everyone I saw; I wanted to constantly be thinking positive things about the people around me. This really helped me to, in a way, rewire the way I thought of myself as well. I found that when I was seeing only the positive parts of others, I was so focused on those thoughts that I stopped thinking about what others might possibly think of me. The voices that used to tell me that others were judging how I looked seemed to disappear. I was learning to appreciate every person I came across and I noticed such a variety of beauty. When I realized that I was no longer worried about what others thought of me, I was ready to get rid of the thoughts I had about myself when I looked into the mirror.

I stood in front of a full-length mirror and really just looked at myself. I addressed everything I saw as a flaw and I decided to work on each thing I didn't like about myself one-by-one. I thought I had too much acne, but rather than seeing it as a flaw in my appearance, I thought about what it meant; Maybe I wasn't eating things that were good for my body and skin, maybe I wasn't getting enough sleep or washing my face enough. I decided that I was going to start feeding my body things that would make it feel and work better, inside and out. I started seeing my body for what it was capable of rather than how it looked. The thighs I used to think weren't smooth enough were also strong enough to carry me everywhere I needed to go; the arms that jiggled when I clapped were capable of lending a helping hand to anyone who needed it. This change of thought really empowered me and I noticed that I slowly stopped tugging at my shorts to make them cover my thighs and I stopped wearing baggy shirts to cover my stomach all the time. I focused on embracing how powerful my body could be. Sure, as a result, I started eating better and working out, but nothing too strict. I wasn’t doing any of this to change the way my body looked, but rather to change how it felt and moved. I wanted to treat it like I would treat another person, and I can truly say I’ve never felt more confident in myself.

My story may make it sound like it took a short amount of time for me to love myself, but it took over three months and is still ongoing. When you decide to embark on the journey that is self-love, know that it could be a long road. There will be obstacles and there will still be days where you compare yourself to others, but remember that there are many different kinds of beautiful. This article was not written as a guide for you to follow like a chore, but rather to share the method I found to be most helpful for me. If you’re reading this, I hope this is the kick start you need in order to begin this ongoing journey because, let me tell you: it is so worth it. You will find happiness inside of yourself that you never knew existed and I hope that you will share that happiness with the people around you. Good luck, you beautiful soul.