Waiting can be agonizing,

it can feel like you've waited for so long, or keep your stomach in knots, waiting for the final moment.

Most of us aren't blessed with the ability to be patient.

Because we aren't in control, and I think that's what scares us the most. We want to know what's happening, when it's going to happen, how it's going to happen and be in charge of each step.

But that's not how life works.

And blessings don't always come when we want them to, or when we feel it's the perfect moment, and the right time.

I feel like I've been waiting my whole life for some things to happen, waiting for it to be my turn, and my time to shine.

But it's never happened.

In fact, we can get so discouraged, we just give up.

Sounds dramatic.

But really it's us saying, I've tried so hard, made so many efforts, pushing so hard for something to happen, and it's not worth it anymore. We have to accept what we don't have before we can have something else.

Being okay with you.

Knowing you can sit in a room, alone, and be happy with everything you have, right there and then.

And if you find yourself unsettled, ask why that is.

I think after a while we get tired of trying so hard to get things because we realize we aren't getting the full package, we're getting quick and easy little things that aren't really the main event.

That's how I feel about love.

I think we all just want to be loved, to have someone to do life with, and it can be extremely frustrating when nothing seems to work out.

No one wants anything real, or long term.

And so you settle in an attempt to get something or anything.

But it's exhausting.

I'm so sick of the superficial, the fake, easy, basic kind of love. That after a while all I could really do was stop.

Stop trying, stop looking.

And face the void that was most definitely there.

But never have I felt so happy and so satisfied as when I just listened to myself, listened to my body, and what I wanted to do.

Whether that was taking a nap, going for a run, or watching a movie.

I was alone, but really I wasn't.

Guys couldn't be there for me, because they didn't really want "me," so instead, I was there for me.

And I loved it.

In doing so I felt a sense of confidence and peace. No more frustration or anxiety, wondering if every guy that made eye contact with me was the one, but just going with the flow.

And I'm happy.

Actually happy.

After a while, I didn't even really long to be married, get married, have a boyfriend, or be with a boyfriend, because I really don't need that. I don't need someone to complete me if I'm already complete myself.

Waiting was worth it because I found me.

And a few years later, I found someone else too.

And the great thing is, I know who I am.