One of my family’s favorite stories to tell is how, on my brother’s first day home from the hospital, I tried to off him. Seriously. My mother had a broken tailbone from the delivery and was immobilized in the recliner, and I climbed up with the remote and tried to bash him over the head with it. I was the epitome of a tormenting older sister growing up. I fed my younger brother an entire bottle of Flintstones’ vitamins one morning, resulting in a frantic call to the poison control hotline.

After Halloween time one year, I dressed him in his alligator costume, my ruby red shoes from my own “Dorathy” costume, and dumped a bottle of baby powder over his head. I was absolutely awful to my younger sibling. He, astonishingly, didn’t hate me for it. Instead, he idolized me. There are so many photos of him gazing up at me in awe, totally infatuated with my existence.

During his toddler years, he wouldn’t speak to anyone. If someone asked him a question, he’d look at me to answer for him. If someone asked him if he wanted a sandwich, he would just look at me, and I would make the decision and vocalize it for him; what I said went. He wanted to be just like me, and I resented his existence. However, as time went on, I found my best friend in the snotty nosed blue eyed boy who grew up to be a 6’ 4” version of one of the best men I know.

Dear (little) brother,

First of all, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being my favorite play-pretend companion when we were younger, thanks for not always playing pretend and roughing me up a bit. The endless hours of wrestling and punches to the gut made me tough, and I wouldn’t have changed that upbringing for the world. Barbies, schmarbies! Thank you for not telling Mom when you knew I was sneaking out of the house in high school, and not ratting when I came in from a party a little too tipsy. Thank you for sending me nice texts when you heard I was having a bad day at college, and threatening to beat up any boy who’s ever hurt me. Thank you for being my “person,” through every stage of life so far -- even when I didn’t realize it.

I also want to remind you that you’re welcome. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t know what not to do, and you would have been much worse off without your big sister. You’re welcome for all those times I yelled at kids on the playground when we were younger for bullying you. You’re welcome for me always being there to tell the dramatic girls to calm down, for sharing my infinite wisdom on the female dramatics. For helping you pick out your outfits before you go places -- (what better fashion consultant than a sister) you’re welcome for being your personal chauffeur in high school, and even now when I’m home from college. I proudly wear the title of an older sibling -- I’ve tried to be the best one I could be.

Next, I want to apologize. I’m sorry for being a horrible big sister at times. For taking cheap shots in the back of the car at you when Mom wasn’t looking, for blaming you for everything, and tattling when you actually did do something wrong. I apologize for making fun of you with my friends at school; I’m sorry for all of the times I treated you like an annoying little kid when you wanted so desperately to gain my approval. But you did, gain my approval. I wouldn’t trade you for the world, and I am so proud of you.

Next year you’ll be a junior, and I can’t believe that! The rest of high school is going to go so fast, and if I could give you one piece of advice, it would be to slow down. I see so much of myself in you, so eager to grow up and take on the world. You’re growing up so fast, but please make sure you don’t do so too quickly. Before you know it, you’re going to be sleeping in a dorm room next to a stranger, and you’re going to wish for these exact moments you’re taking advantage of, back. I’m sure you’ve heard most of this before, but it’s not cliché or over exaggerated. This is one of the most exciting times of your life -- stop to smell the roses. (And the easy classes).

Lastly, I want to ask you to always remember to stay you. I’ve always identified with that throwback Taylor Swift song with the lyric “God smiles on my little brother, inside and out he’s better than I am.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. You are without a doubt one of the most caring, humble, and genuine people I know, and you have the biggest heart. You’re always the person to help someone or do everything you can to make someone smile. You’re so empathetic, for everyone, and you make me so proud. I could never be the person you are, and for the tiny brat that used to copy my every move, I’d like to think that just a little bit of who you are comes from me. Please don’t ever lose sight of you, because you rock.

Love you always,

“Sissy”