A huge majority of my life, I've never been one to give anyone second chances. If you crossed me, I marked you off of my theoretical friends' list. The one who did me wrong mattered nothing to me anymore. However, the older I've gotten I've realized that's a tail sign of immaturity.
The question I always asked myself was this, "why?" Why did I just mark them off and never speak to them again? Why did I always give them side-eyed glances when we crossed paths? Was my own immaturity to blame or my lack of ability to forgive? Short answer, both were to blame. I had my guard up totally and lacked all ability to forgive.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes it's best to walk away from someone and not be their best bud. It's actually healthy to give someone distance. What isn't healthy is holding a grudge. Not forgiving those who aren't "worthy" of your forgiveness.
My own personal conviction came into play just the other night, I said things I shouldn't of and I was instantly reminded of a bible verse in Matthew.
"Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”"
""No, not seven times," Jesus replied, "but seventy times seven!"
Seventy TIMES seven! While he didn't mean to literally count how many times, I think He meant forgive regardless. Even if the other person did you wrong or you had a dozen disagreements. We as children of God are meant to turn the other cheek. I forgive because Christ forgives me time and time again
When I do wrong he's still here to pick me up. Which, I think is an important quality to have. My own immaturity has blinded me for so long that I have cut off many people. My list of friends have dwindled over time and I'm okay with that. Sometimes keeping to yourself isn't a bad thing!
I've since decided on my own that forgiveness is important in moving on. Holding grudges contributes to my own worry. One of my favorite verses in Luke is about worry goes like this,
"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour of your life?"
Which is so true. How can my own worry contribute to my forgiveness of others? Truthfully, it can not. I feel like both worry and grudges can both go hand in hand. If I hold a grudge, am I not worrying about how the other person is going to react to me? Why do I even care what the other person thinks about me? I should just forgive them regardless and move on, right?
I feel like this past semester so far has been this one giant lesson in the saving grace of forgiveness. Forgiving someone does not entail just saying sorry, as a matter of fact, you don't even have to tell the person you forgive them. Instead just show them the same love and compassion Christ shows you daily. Forgive because Christ forgave you. Not only will it help you in the long run, it will also give room for a possible rekindling of a reationship, of any kind.
