You probably have someone, and perhaps maybe even multiple people, who have caused you pain. It may be that they broke your heart, broke your trust, or simply broke your spirits. At the time, it seemed as though you could never forgive them. Why should you? Surely they don't deserve your forgiveness, do they? There seems to be no point in being the bigger person when you're still feeling the sting and burn of being hurt.
The fact is, although they may not deserve forgiveness, you do. The sadness you feel will only weigh you down until you're drowning in a pool of your own tears. The anger will burn a hole straight through your heart that may never heal. That's not to say you should allow people to continue to hurt you or to offer them excuses when they do. It's simply a reminder that sometimes forgiveness isn't for the other person, it's for you. To forgive is not to say, "It is okay for you to treat me this way." It is not to say, "I am a fool." Forgiveness says that there is still peace to be found after heartache.
I have learned this the hard way in my life. I have held grudges against people who couldn't care less whether I was hurting. I have cursed the names of those I was too disgusted by to look at. It helped nothing, though. The anger and resentment I felt only made me bitter and kept the hurt alive. I was only feeding the monster that the people who hurt me had caused. So one day, I decided to let it all go and grant myself the power and the freedom to forgive. It wasn't an easy process and for me personally, it came through nights of prayer and reflection.
Whoever is hurting you or causing you to lose sleep at night, I urge you to forgive them. You don't have to forget what they have done; in fact, it's essential that you don't. Remember the hurt and the tears, but use them for good. Use them as a reminder that something bad happened and you were able to overcome it. Let the betrayal and memory of pain remind you that you were strong enough to forgive. Be able to say, "Yes, I have been hurt but I am at peace." And I hope that through all the forgiveness you grant, that you also forgive yourself. Whether it's for trusting the wrong people, making bad choices, or simply feeling so much anger at another person, please learn to forgive yourself.
Forgive them even if they never know that you do. Forgive them even if you never see them again. Forgive them even if you never hear an apology or reason for the pain. Forgive them...forgive them even when they aren't sorry.
