If 2016 was a year that left you feeling emotionally, spiritually, or mentally depleted, you are not alone. If it felt like one horrible thing kept happening after another, leaving you without a moment to take a breath, you are not alone.
Be happy for your friends or family who had an amazing year, but give yourself grace and understand that it's okay to be bitter or 100% done with this past year. Your feelings are valid, and so was your experience.
But before this past year comes to an end, or before you completely immerse yourself into the new, fresh start of the coming one....
Reflect
Make a list of the significant and positive events, or the times spent with people who brought you joy. The most crucial part of moving forward is to understand where you've been.
With that being said, reflect on all that went wrong -- the situations that wrecked you or changed you. Whatever caused you trauma, whatever you have tried not to think of for a long time---think about them, even for just a little while if you can.
Give yourself Perspective
When you think about the hard experiences that you went through, try to see them through a different lens. If there were relational issues, consider the perspective of the other person or people involved.
If you made mistakes that you regret, try to remind yourself of the reasons why you chose that. What was your circumstance? What happened prior that lead you to think the way you did? Instead of beating yourself up for something you regret, continually give your past self grace for not knowing what would happen. Then, take what you've learned and use it as a means for change.
Prepare for Change!
Decide on your goals for the coming year. In what ways do you want to be better? What step can you take TODAY to become better than who you were yesterday?
So when the New Year rolls around, keep these in mind:
If something is worth doing, commit yourself to carrying it through.
My mentor posted a reflection status and quoted John C Maxwell on the topic of commitment:
1. Count the Cost -Commitment becomes much stronger when you have already counted the cost.
2. Determine to Pay the Price - Once you count the cost, then you have to decide whether you are really willing to do what it takes to follow through.
3. Expect Commitment to be a struggle - Commitment doesn't come easy, but when you're fighting for something you believe in, the struggle is worth it.
4. Don't Rely on Talent Alone - Your skills are what you put in yesterday. Commitment is what you must put in today in order to make today your masterpiece and make tomorrow a success.
5. Focus on Choices, not Conditions - Your choices are the only thing that you can truly control. You cannot control your circumstances.
Make a decision to move toward Self-Improvement and Self-Love.
What do you need to do to be better?
In the realm of relationships, I was asked, "Don't think about what the guy did wrong. In your past relationships, what was it about YOU that caused things to not work out? What was wrong with you that YOU needed to work on?"
I find that these questions permeate into any other aspect of life. Whether it is in academics or your career, when something didn't work out, what was it about yourself that may have needed to change? Was there anything you should have done differently? Did you notice faults in yourself that you can take time to work on this year?
Make a list or mental note of the areas in your life that need improvement, and commit yourself to striving toward the better version of you!
Don't give in to excuses.
Don't give in to your fear of change if that fear keeps you from becoming the better version of yourself. Don't say that you don't have the time to go after what you've always wanted. If you really want it, make the time. Put in the effort.
Be Present
Live in the moment. Put the technology away when you're around those you love. Just be. Relieving yourself of the pressures of the world around you for ten minutes to an hour can completely revolutionize they way you get through the day.
Take life day by day, moment by moment.
The future is uncertain, and tomorrow isn't promised. Stressing over what needs to get done or what may or may not happen won't always change the outcome. In reality, it often makes the situations worse. Live each day in pursuit of making the present moment worth living, worth remembering.
