Dear What's-Your-Name,
I know who you are. You probably know me, too. But to me, you don't have a name. I cannot call you by the title that you were given when I was born. Honestly, you do not deserve that one syllable.
It was great, when I was younger. You were my best friend, someone I looked up to. We'd go out together, to the park, the pizza shop or just for a walk to visit your friends. While inside, you'd do my hair, take naps on the couch or your friends would come over to play with me. Little did I know, it was all fake. All of those times were full of false hopes and dreams, as well as the abuse that would later plague my mind.
I never told anyone, though. That was our little secret. I did not understand, when I was younger, why I was not allowed to see you. I grew up and slowly found out the real truth behind the lies. From that point on, bye-bye went my little fantasy world and reality came to say a big, "Hello!"
I'm sure many can relate to me in some shape or form. Others are lucky; they did not know their version of you at all. I feel empty and unsure. Scared and alone. Is there anything I could have done? Did I cause you to be this way? Didn't you want me? Was I not good enough? Couldn't you have gotten any better?
You left me with nothing but heartache, anxiety and emptiness. Must've been your version of a going away present. I can't even talk about how I'm feeling toward you with another, let alone my other parent. They just wouldn't understand. It's been years since you've been gone. Why should I think anything of you?
But then came the day you had the audacity to come back. You were different in good and bad ways. You weren't the parent I remembered. However, I was willing to try and forgive and move on, since you were once again a part of my life.
As soon as you came, you went -- literally, overnight. You only lasted a few months. There went my hopes, again, for the second time.
After some thought, I realized that I don't need you. There are other people in my life who love me, care about me. They can at least try and fill the hole that you left. Words are just words, anyway. You never had any intentions of staying.
"The only thing you have ever taught me is how to survive without you." Unknown
