Whether it is weeks, months, or years, it all hurts the same. You feel like your whole world is crashing down around you and there is no way for you to stop it. You feel lost, disrespected, and hurt. He loved you. But did he? Because if that was the case, why wasn't I good enough? You start blaming yourself. Maybe it is because I was not around. Maybe it's my hair color, maybe it's my clothes. Maybe it's the way I laugh, or the way I cherish him. Maybe it was too much. Maybe it's the way I love, wholeheartedly and without doubt. Maybe it's the way I looked at him and thought he was the only one in the world capable of being mine. Or maybe, just maybe it was fun for him to hurt me like this.
These thoughts kill us, boys.
They hurt us so bad and on top of having to go through the pain of knowing that they strayed away from the relationship, we get to figure out why on our own because if they were enough of a coward to cheat, most of the times they are just as much of a coward when it comes to admitting why cheating all of a sudden seemed okay. When in reality, it never is.
It is really hard to push someone you loved and someone you thought would never hurt you, away. When you start a relationship, most of the time you are thinking long term and when that gets ripped away from you and you all of a sudden have no control over your own relationship, it's sad. I get it, I really do. It is heart-wrenching, to say the least.
There is absolutely no excuse when it comes to cheating on someone. But there always seems to be one when it comes down to it. They blame it on you for some random reason, something along the lines of we did not talk enough that week, etc. But the point is, do not fall for that crap. Just to repeat for emphasis here, THERE ARE NO EXCUSES FOR CHEATING. So all of those thoughts that you have as soon as you find out he's been unfaithful, let them go ladies. They mean nothing and it is not your fault for what he decided to do.
To cap this off, let me leave you with a little advice.
1. You do not need a man, you are an independent and strong woman
2. There was nothing you could do to prevent this from happening, this is on him
3. I know you loved him and you might still do, but let that part of your life go. He did you wrong and he will do it again if you let him.
4. You WILL get past this
5. There is a guy out there who is going to believe in you one day and going to counteract the lovely person that you are. They are going to see your scars and cherish them and carefully help you mend that broken heart. But until then, enjoy this life God has given you and know that He does have a plan and He has the perfect person waiting for you.