I know exactly what it’s like. You meet someone and at that first innocent brush of the hand, a world of hopes and emotions comes flooding in. But those feelings aren’t alone. The memories come rushing back, too. The fears of “what if it ends up like last time?” and “what if I get hurt again?” The walls you’ve built around your heart are sky high and a mile thick. I’m not going to tell you to change. Trust me, I’ve heard my fair share of “stop worrying so much” and “just get over it,” and I know how utterly ineffective that is. I just want to tell you that it’s OK. You’re not alone in feeling this way and take as much time as you need.

It can be more than frightening to give your heart to someone. Once it is in their hands, what happens to it is out of your control. The best thing you can do for yourself is wait for the one that waits for you. Wait for the person who will encourage you, nurture you and be patient with you until you are ready to let them in. Some people are not willing to put in effort for a relationship with someone who is afraid to open up to them. That is their issue, not yours. The person who is happy to wait until you learn to trust them is the person who deserves you.

It is important to remember that being alone is never a bad thing. It can give you the opportunity to get to know and trust yourself. Once you accomplish that, it makes it easier to have faith in your decisions and relationships. You can take the time on your own to troubleshoot, find out what is holding you back and work towards trusting other people with your heart.

It probably won’t happen in a week, or even a month. It might not happen at all. Overcoming any fear is a challenge. We are taught to learn from the past, so it is essentially second nature to protect yourself after getting your heart broken. Despite what you might be told, it is not a weakness. It doesn’t make you any less of a person to take caution when it comes to love. And when the right person comes around, it will not make you any less desirable.

So, don’t let anyone tell you that something is wrong with you. Don’t let them tag you as the girl with trust issues. Thank your ex-lovers for teaching you to wait for someone who really deserves you. Applaud yourself for being the girl who is confident enough to look after herself first. Learn to love and accept who you are, and wait for someone else who does, too.