Life is complicated, and relationships are even more so. I might only be a 21-year-old college student, but I like to think I am wise beyond my years. When it comes to boys, I have been to hell and back, then back again. I have been in almost every situation one can think of when it comes to relationships, good and bad! I have some things that I need to say about relationships that every girl out there needs to know and genuinely keep into consideration.
1. Be confident.
This is definitely easier said than done. I know I am at fault of this often, but you need to be able to pick yourself up. You have to be confident with yourself. You want to be able to go through life knowing you did something with confidence. You are strong, and you are really cool, so show that! Avoid being cocky, though. Just be confident with who you are as a person and love that about yourself.
2. Love yourself/Date yourself.
Confidence leads to loving yourself. This is one the most important things you can do. Loving yourself means that you have self-confidence that you don't need someone constantly telling you how amazing you are, you already know you're kickass! Loving yourself also means you are OK with your life. You are in a good spot, you can rely on yourself and you are independent. My motto is to date yourself at least once in your life for a little while. You'd be surprised at how awesome you are and how much you'll find out about yourself as well. It is also a ton of fun to be dating yourself because the only one you have to worry about is yourself. Falling in love with yourself is very important because if you aren't 100 percent in love with yourself then how do you expect someone else to be?
3. Have fun.
We are young, we are beautiful, and we are cool AF, so go out and have fun! You truly are only young once and this is your time to have a blast. So get involved on campus, travel, make new friends, get a puppy, whatever you want to do! You never want to look back on your life and think "I wish I had more fun…" or "I regret not doing that…" So go out there and do something crazy every once in awhile.
4. Be yourself.
Don't confuse this with loving yourself. They are two totally separate things. Just always be yourself. If you are super weird, then be super weird! You can't dwell on what others think of you all the time, especially if you're being the real you. If others don't approve of who you actually are then they don't deserve to be in your life.
5. Cut out the negativity.
This one is crucial. Cut out all the negativity in your life! If you are surrounded by toxic people, say, "See ya later!" You don't have time for that, and more importantly, you don't need that in your cool life. Leave the negative people out as well as the negative experiences. Move on from bad things that have happened in the past and let go of any anger or negative vibes. Your happiness is important and if people, places, or things are preventing it, cut them out.
6. Sometimes it's OK to be selfish.
Being selfish is never a good trait to have, but in some situations being selfish is OK. When it comes to your happiness, it can be OK to be selfish. It isn't the end of the world to put yourself first sometimes. I am a huge culprit of this. I will risk my own desires and happiness to make sure other people get what they want. I hate hurting people and their feelings so if I can avoid that, I will at all costs. But I have learned that sometimes it is OK to put yourself first and sometimes you need to put yourself first. Think of your own happiness and mental wellbeing every once in awhile, you'd be surprised as to what a difference it can make. The best part is nine times out of 10, people will understand.
7. Go with the flow.
This is my other main motto. Going with the flow is not only a lot of fun, but it avoids disappointment. If you have a plan and expect it to go one way and it doesn't work out, you are left disappointed, hurt or angry. Obviously, it's responsible to plan somethings out ahead of time, but in the long run, go with the flow. Don't get upset if things don't go as planned. It happened for a reason so pull it together and make the best out of the situation given.
8. Forgive.
This one is really important. Boys will crush your heart, girls will stab you in the back, people will do you wrong and upset you and you have every right to be hurt and angry. But don't hold onto that. You need to learn to let things go. If you don't you'll always have this negativity inside you, and as we learned earlier that is a big no-no. Just because you forgive a person doesn't mean they have to be your best friend again, but forgiveness is healthy. Not only for that person who probably feels super guilty, but also for yourself. Don't hold onto anything that isn't worth it, don't waste your time on a grudge.
9. Protect yourself, but let your walls down.
This one is a difficult one to master and I haven't fully gotten there yet. To be honest, I lean a bit more toward the protected side and for good reasons. But it is important to let my walls down. Obviously, protect yourself. Don't let people push you around and use you, but also learn that it is OK to trust some people and that not every guy sucks. If you keep your walls up constantly, you'll miss out on that fun night out with your friends or the cute guy who's been trying to talk to you. Don't miss out on these people and moments because you are too worried about staying protected. Find the happy medium.
10. Never settle.
We get to that point in our relationship with ourselves where we realize "Yeah, I am bomb AF and it would be selfish of me to keep this all to myself." By all means, share your bad self with someone else! But be sure you aren't settling. Don't date a guy you know is good for you if feelings aren't there. Don't date that guy if he doesn't wow you. Don't date him just because he's the only one giving you attention. Most importantly, don't date that man just because you are lonely. Trust me, every once in awhile it hits me where I think "Wow, I miss having a boyfriend" or whatever else. But then I remember, sure I miss that now but it will be all that much more worth it when I find the right person. If I were to settle now just because I'm alone, I would be miserable. Plus I'm not quite done dating myself yet … I'm a really good girlfriend; I love dating me.
There are so many more tips I could give you about relationships, but these are a few of the most important. Following these pieces of advice will increase your happiness. I promise you that I am living proof that you can go through hell and come back. I love myself, I'm currently in a relationship with the coolest person ever! (aka me) and I am 100 percent happy with my life, relationships, friends and family. I couldn't be happier and this is one of the times in my life where I can honestly say that. You can get here too.
