I get you. I get your steadfast ways, I get your reasons for wanting to do things on your own, I get why you like doing things on your own. I get this because I am just like you.
Ever since I can remember, I have never liked depending on other people, whether it be my mom helping me with homework, asking my dad for gas money in high school or a guy opening the door for me. I've been called stubborn, hardheaded and a handful, but that's not it. I have never been the type that wanted to depend on other people for things because I know I can do it myself. Now, this is a good thing, but it can also be a bad thing. I like the feeling of being able to do things on my own, but when it comes to God, sometimes I'm too independent.
I sometimes feel like I can handle the highs and lows of life on my own, and every single time I have tried, I fell flat on my face. It took me a long time to really understand that it is okay to depend on God. In fact, I depend on Him so much now that I know I couldn't make it without Him.
I rely on His grace every single day for when I make a mistake.
I rely on His love when I feel like I am completely alone.
I rely on His sovereignty when everything in my world changes.
I rely on His goodness when all I am surrounded by is darkness.
I rely on His promises when plans fall through.
I rely on His truth when the world tries to tell me what to be.
I rely on Him more than I have ever relied on anyone else.
"The LORD is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him." — Exodus 15:2
But I wasn't always like this.
I used to think I could handle it all on my own. I used to think that I was strong enough to carry the weight of this world on my shoulders. I used to think that I was fine on my own.
...Until one day, it all became too much. If you're being honest, you know exactly what I'm talking about: the day that you realized maybe this is more than you can bear, that maybe, just maybe, this is bigger than you.
That's the day you realized that it's okay to not be in control of everything. I had to learn that I can not control everything, no matter how bad I want to. I had to learn to honestly "let go and let God".
I had to learn to let God deal with my anxieties.
I had to learn to trust God with my future.
I had to believe that God has good in every storm.
I had to trust that His way is truly better than my way.
In every situation that I tried to control, I either made the situation worse, or it ended in a complete disaster. But every situation that God held the reigns to, has ended up working out for my good. Read that again.
Every situation that God held the reigns to, has ended up working out for my good.
"For the LORD is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations." — Psalms 100:5
It might take a little while for the good to actually happen, but remain patient. It will come.
So if you're like me, a little too independent sometimes, I urge you to let God hold the reigns of your life and everything will work out just as it should.
And maybe even let that cute boy open the door for you occasionally, too. ;-)
